What Women Want from Men: Practical Tips to Build Long Term Relationship

Do you often wonder what women want from men actually?

In fact regarding this topic I've already explained it in my previous articles how to attract a woman and emotional needs. We have specific emotional need at each relationship stage, the things that women want from men are those can meet her emotional needs.

Relationship Stage Emotional Need
 Status (Attraction)
 Couple (Long Term)
 Security (Commitment)

The key is you want to meet her emotional needs in every relationship stage. 

However, these emotional needs are too vague and abstract. For instance, many men know women want a sense of safety and security, but what does it really mean? Relationship advice like providing protection, safety, and security to a woman is just too general for men to know what is their first step.

So I write this article to serve as a guide for you to better understand how to give women what they want and need.

What Women Want from Men: #1. Attraction

First of all, women want to feel sexually attracted to you. This is the first thing she wants from you as a spouse. If you can't make her feels you are sexy, she will not consider you as a boyfriend material. 

Treat her nice will not make her feels you are sexy, that's why nice guys always finish last. See: why being nice to her doesn't work. They don't understand the first thing women want from men is you are being sexually attractive. They thought women want a nice guy, so they buy her presents, flowers, drinks, etc etc.

That's not what you should do in stranger stage. If you are not being sexy to her, then when the relationship comes to the next stage you will be friendzoned. Love can't happen without attraction.

My previous article 4 typical types of relationship has explained the importance of attraction in a relationship.

So, how to be more sexually attractive?

There are 10 life areas you should focus on to constantly improve:

  • Looks
  • Athleticism
  • Personality
  • Financial Situation
  • Status (or perceived status)
  • Power
  • Style
  • Confidence
  • Purpose
  • Social

See more details in this article: 10 aspects to improve to succeed with women

Many nice guys straightly do more connection with women instead of spark the attraction at the first place. That's wrong sequence. 

When she is sexually interested and attracted to you, she views you as a potential boyfriend, and secretly wants more validation from you. She is likely to be your girlfriend, you just need to meet her next emotional need: connection.

What Women Want from Men: #2. Connection

When women feel there's a connection with you only would think of having a love relationship with you. I don't mean normal friend connection, but meaningful connection that makes her feels loved and supported.

Since women are more emotional than men, they have different emotional impact of life experience than men, that's how their brain wired to. See: the key difference between men and women.

For women, having a strong emotional connection with her man means getting love and support from him. She feels protected and emotionally secure with you. If you neglect this connection need, she starts to feel unsure about your love for her, she feels unloved and uncared. This is why some couples break up in Power Struggle stage.

Once the emotional intimacy in relationships is destroyed, conflicts multiply and magnify, and this leads to crush of sexual intimacy, eventually the relationship ends.

Here's how you can create meaningful connection with your woman:

Being emphatic
As mentioned women are emotional, they use their emotions to see the world. You want to improve your ability to read people so you can see the world through her eyes. You know her perspective, how she feels, and understand the emotional impact of her daily life experience on her.

If you don't being emphatic, she will feel lonely, unloved, neglected and disconnected from you. In short, you want to learn how to put yourself in her shoes.

Staying present to her difficult emotions
Women would express her emotions in ways that men have no idea about, just don't take it personally, understand that's women's nature and being OK with it.

You want to be grounded with her emotions without judging, criticizing, and withdrawing. Don't even try to fix her emotions, she's not broken and she's not purposely to do so, she is just being a woman.

Showing that you care about her
You want to show her you care about her. For example, being interested in her as a person and in things she liked. 

Furthermore, you want to often appreciate and acknowledge verbally just anything you can about her. Always share yourself and speak of her, that shows your love and affection for her. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you want to agree with her on everything for the sake of feeling emotional connection with you. What I mean is you want to validate her feelings and avoid trying to fix her emotions.

When you become able to connect meaningfully with her, she becomes to trust you at a deeper level, and becomes more rely on you.

What Women Want from Men: #3. Commitment

In a long term relationship, there are 2 tangible things women want from men: connection and commitment.

We just covered the connection part above. Lets see the commitment part.

Take the risk of being annoyed I want to say again women are wired to search for protection and security in a relationship before they fully express their love. 

If she feels safe and secure physically and emotionally in relationship, she will go through the end of world with you. The interaction between you two are open and spontaneous. She trusts, respects, and admires you. 

Commitment is what plays in this stage, it always makes her feel safe and protected from you. It's not just whatsoever commitment, but meaningful commitment, which aligns with your personal goals and relationship goals. 

But be careful of the dilemma, commitment is not just about marriage. It is mutual commitment, you both consciously choose to invest yourself wholeheartedly in a relationship - your body, mind, heart and soul, and build powerful and loving bond together.

Committed relationship means you will be:

  • making each other a priority
  • aligning your personal goals with the relationship goals as a whole 
  • trustworthy
  • discussing your expectations 
  • negotiating your needs and wants
  • helping each other and cooperating effectively 
  • finding the middle ground
  • respectful 
  • communicating truthfully
  • there for each other
  • staying together not only through the good, but also through the challenging times.
  • making your partner feel that you are mentally and emotionally committed

Final words

I have made a lot of mistakes in my previous relationship and the relationship is ended. That's sad because I have no any guidance and wrongly believe in some so-called PUA gurus advice. Don't make silly mistakes, I don't want anyone fails with their loved one anymore. 

These are what women want form men, this article is not the final destination, you have to constantly improve yourself, equip yourself, raise yourself to a new dimension/ new and better version of you. This is a never-ending journey, lets make our love and life work.

Photo credit: Loving couple lying in bed

About the author


Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.


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