What Does Security Mean To Women?

What women ultimately want is security.

However, what does security mean?

Women want a sense of safety and security, we all know about it.

But in society we still can see many divorce cases due to the wife didn't feel a sense of safety and security.

It's obvious that many guys still do not sure about what does security mean to women.

I used to be one of the guys. I used to have an ambiguous idea on security.

Hadn't I learned the women's concept of security from my girlfriend and mother I will never know what does it actually mean.

And this is very important.

Security is a need that must be satisfied otherwise the health of relationship will ruin undoubtedly. 

It is specifically important to women. Men need to feel safe and secure too, but the priority doesn't high like how women prioritize.

My girlfriend and my mother let me know how important it is to them. They always unconsciously chat about this topic here and there.

After analyzing what they said and observing their behaviors I can conclude there are a few things construct the sense of safety and security to them.

It's aligning completely to what I said in my previous article about emotional needs.

I said there are three emotional needs. The first need is the status need, the sexual attraction. The second need is the connection need, the emotional attraction. And the third need is the security need, the mental attraction.

In the article how to attract women I said the third need mental attraction has to be on firstly because it's the foundation. Although according to the relationship stages theory its importance is less in the beginning.

These needs have to satisfy in this sequence. Status > Connection > Security. 

In the perspective of relationship it looks like this: Stranger (Status) > Friend/Couples (Connection)> Long-Term Relationship (Security).

I also mentioned in that article that the priority of these needs is influenced by age - Women's need changes with their age.

When they are young they will think they still have a lot of time so they prefer adventure and challenge. That's why they prefer a bad guy, who is mysterious, attractive, strong, bold and other positive traits. See how to be irresistible to women

When comes to the middle age their need for status becoming less, but the need for connection becomes more. The reality of life suffers them and they want a guy who loves and knows her. They want to feel cared and loved. So they will prefer a guy who treats them nicely. 

But that doesn't necessarily mean love. Love can't exist without attraction. Most women choose to be with a guy she doesn't love just because they are not young anymore and they think they need connection more than attraction.

When they are old, what they more concern is not attraction and connection anymore. They care more about the security need. They want to feel a sense of safety and security because they think don't have time anymore and need to settle down. 

If a woman doesn't have a guy she can rely on when she is old she will care about her money more than her previous life because that's what provide her security.

In short, the priority of each need in different ages looks like this: Young (Status)> Middle Age (Connection)> Old (Security).

So, when comes to the long-term relationship which women expect to be with you until they die the most important need will be the security need.

Hadn't my girlfriend and my mother told me one common thing that they never communicate together before I would not know this is what means the security to women.

What they said commonly is...

a home.

What does security mean to women - A home

What does a home mean?

A home is not only a house. It's way more than that.

An ideal home to a woman is a combination of things that make her feel satisfied with her life.

An ideal home is the security need.

An ideal home is the dream of every woman.

From my observation, there are 2 aspects of things - Physical & emotional


- Be attractive

Although I differentiate the attraction need and the security need, but that doesn't mean when the security is important the need for attraction becomes not important at all. It's just different priorities. 

Therefore, an ideal home to a woman including a husband who is always attractive. Many women when they are old found that their husband is not attractive anymore - becomes fatty, low enthusiasm, no passion, boring, no style, not care his appearance and the list goes on.

Therefore, you want to be attractive.

All the time.

You can't allow yourself to get out of shape. You can't allow yourself be unattractive, no matter physically or emotionally. See what women find attractive universally.

- Be good in sex life

The concept of an ideal home includes having a great sex life.

Sex is an instinct. An instinct that all human being need all the time no matter when he/she is young, middle age or old.

You want to satisfy her sex need. 

When she is with you, her sex life will be only with you. If you are suck in making love, she can leave/divorce with you.

Imagine that if you never have been satisfied in your sex life for 7 or 8 or even 10 years. And you know you will get it from another woman, what would you do?

A marriage without sex is suffering. 

Be a man in life, and be a beast on the bed.

- Financially stable

This one is very obvious. Financially stable means a lot to everyone including men and women.

To women, a stable income implies a stable home. 

So build your financial foundation as early as you can. When you are young you have the time and energy to make money. You have less pressure on making money because you have less responsibility. See also: You should start your own business before 30

Fight and do the best you can so when you have more responsibility you are financially stable.

- A satisfied home condition

This point is inspired by my mother.

Every woman has ever dreamed about the dream house she wanted in the future. 

A house with a garden, 2 cars parking at the parking site, a big living room with stylish decoration, five bedrooms, one big kitchen, three toilets, beautiful furniture and you name it. 

They want a house they are satisfied with. 

An ideal home can't without a nice house. 

So do the work you should do, be on focus. This is your responsibility to realize her dream.

- Good family members

This point is inspired by my girlfriend and my mother.

An ideal home needs to have good family members.

Every member respects each other. Every member is doing great with his/her life. Every member is healthy. Every member is successful.

Maybe your ideal home is including a dog. My girlfriend wants a dog so it's one of the things in my future plan.


- Connection

Your woman will want to feel connected with you. 

She wants to feel comfortable when being around you. She wants to feel loved and supported.

This need is also one of the emotional needs you have to satisfy.

Without the connection, the love life is suffering.

You have to be emphatic with her, stay present to her difficult emotions, and show that you care her.

- Commitment

In my previous article I explained commitment is needed when entering a long-term relationship.

Commitment is not just about marriage. 

A mutual commitment can make her feel safe and secure physically and emotionally. Read more at the practical guide to building a long-term relationship.

- Safety

Women want to feel safe.

An ideal home is a safety place.

When your son or daughter meets struggles and difficulty at outside, the home will be their last secure place.

An ideal home is financially and physically stable. 

Your woman will never need to worry about eat, sleep and entertainment. Home is the most comfortable place.

- Excitement

An ideal home is warming. 

She feels harmonious when staying in the house and the family members are friendly. 

Every member shares stories together. They share their happiness and sadness. Every member can play together. Every year the whole family will go travel together one or two times to leave some memories that belong to the family.

- Freedom

An ideal home is free.

Your woman can freely do anything she wants at the home. 

She doesn't feel being controlled by family members. 

She doesn't feel any uncomfortable staying at home.

She sleeps nicely and feels content. 

She feels freedom.

Final words

An ideal home is the answer of what does security mean to women. 

To build an ideal home is difficult. It's never easy. It must be challenging and many obstacles along the journey.

But will you fight for it?

I will. 

I will fight for my spouse's dream. I will fight for the future. No matter what efforts need to put in.

Because I want an ideal home too.

Don't you?

About the author


Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.


The Two-step Process How to Actually Avoid The Friend Zone

7 Effective Listening Skills That Actually Improve Your Relationship

4 Steps to Communicate Better In A Relationship


Who Is This Free Ebook For?

If you are struggling in your love life and looking to...

=> find out the reasons why women don't love you
=> increase your ability to attract women
=> understand what women are looking for
=> double your dating, get more laid, and get into a relationship

...then the ebook is perfectly for you!

Enter your email address and click the Download button. The ebook will be immediately sent to you.

comments powered by Disqus