Right Attitude to Get Your Ex Back (And Bad Attitude You Should Avoid)
How to get your ex back?
This is a question that frequently asked by many people who just breakup with their partner. Every breakup case has its very own and specific problems. Therefore, if you want to get your ex back, you need to know the root problems of your relationship and focus on solving the problem.
In this article I want to say about your attitude - What's the correct attitude that you should have to get her back. This part is the most important part in the process of getting your ex back as it determines your chances to succeed at the very beginning.
If you have equipped with wrong attitude, then no matter what techniques or tactics you use to chase her back will be going to fail eventually. In contrast, if your attitude is right you will still have chance to get her back even though you don't know what really to do.
Attitude is what you think and do after you breakup with your ex. Generally there are only two type of attitudes - bad and good. Ya, I know, it's too general.
Bad attitude not only cannot help you to restore your love but even will make it worse. Bad attitude prevents you from getting your ex back - it increases the misunderstanding, make you unattractive, and make her feel annoyed.
Women would leave you away and never reconsider you as her mate again. Your chance to get your ex back is very low.
Good attitude not only will increase your chances to get her back, but also will strengthen the bond after getting back together. Good attitude makes the process of getting her back smoothly.
Good attitude gives less pressure to both of you. In addition, your good attitude would impresses her that you are a tough and strong man. Therefore, she'd think you are a reliable man and this increases your attractiveness.
Bad attitude will kill your attraction
So, what are the bad attitudes that kill your attraction and turn your woman away? Lets go through this in detail.
There're many men turn into wusses after breakup with their lover. Wussy attitude is the worst attitude you can equip with to get your ex back. In my opinion turning into a wuss is a surefire way to breakup with a woman. If you want to get your ex back, the best way is to trigger the attraction again that she used to be attracted to you.
Wussy behaviors are never attractive to women, never and ever. The behaviors that consider as wussy are those behaviors fawning over her so you think she'd back to the relationship. Your first thing to do in getting her back is avoiding these wussy behaviors. Once you notice you're doing it, stop it immediately. Don't continue to destroy your chances to get her back.
Popular wussy behaviors:
Buy presents for her
You buy her favorite and expensive presents, so you think she will be happy with that, and then she's going to forgive you and rewind the relationship. Is this work?
Well, in most cases this is not going to work. If the problem of breakup is because she thinks you don't understand her, buy her present will only remind her that you really don't understand her. The core problem is still there.
Before you apologize to her, do you really understand what's the matter with your relationship? If you don't know what's wrong with you or if it's not your fault, do not apologize.
If it's not your fault that leads to breakup, why should you apologize? Apologize will place you at a lower position, this is unattractive and shows you are insecure. However, if it's your fault then don't escape to take the responsibility.
Keep yourself in bad mood
Don't immerse yourself in the bad mood for a long time. This is useless to get your ex back and is wasting your emotional energies. Feeling heaviness for the breakup is not going to help you in anyway. And you shouldn't try to let her know your feeling.
If you like to confess your feelings in social website such as Twitter or Facebook, I'd recommend you to stop this immediately because this reduces your chance to get her back.
I know you want to let her know you're caring about her indirectly, but believe me, it's only annoying her. The more you post your bad feeling of breakup, the more she wants to escape from you.
Complain to your friends
You complain to your friends that she is bad and you are not satisfied with her. And then complain to your friends that you're feeling bad - you're dying inside, your heart is raining, and you are losing energies.
Common, my friend. If this is you, stop it immediately. Telling your friends how bad you're feeling is no different with posting them in Facebook. Except that your friends don't know her.
And this may gives bad impression of her to your friends. How does she face and react to your friends if you're getting back together? How does she feel if she knows you're complaining about her out there?
It's even worse if your ex and your friends are mutual friends. Remember, never and ever complain to your friends no matter you're managing to get her back or not. Be a gentleman, protect her image anyway.
This is the worst thing you can do with your ex. Begging her back to the relationship is never work in anyway.
"Please give me a chance!", " I can't live without you!". Get the picture? You're not triggering the attraction for her to want you back, but acting pity so she comes back because she doesn't want to hurt you anymore. Is this the result you prefer?
In a nutshell, don't be a wuss after breaking up with her. Stop being needy, insecure, lost in life and in bad mood. Don't kill your attraction with these bad attitudes. Avoid and eliminate them, and replace them with good attitudes.
Good attitude that helps to get your ex back
So now you know that you need to equip with good attitude to increase your chances to get your ex back. Your mindset shaped your attitude. Therefore, you need to ingrain good mindset so you will have good attitude.
Don't hesitate to change your mindset about love and relationships, don't bet it with your love.
Here are some general good attitudes to get your ex back:
Don't trap with victim syndrome
Don't think yourself as a victim. Victim syndrome is easily to be trapped by people who are always with negativity and they're hard to get out from the trap.
People with victim syndrome usually thought that was his or her fault to cause the breakup and himself is the victim in the case. They put themselves in a negative state instead of trying to find out the real root problems in their relationship.
Normally victim syndrome people believe they're always right, so they escape to face the real problem.
On the other hand, they may think it's their own problems but in a very negative way: it's because they don't have money, they are not handsome, they don't have good academic, etc. They think they are not eligible to get them back.
They do nothing with it and immerse themselves in bad mood the whole day. This type of person may posts a lot of negative posts in social website like mentioned above. They want to grab people's attention on them, so this satisfies their victim syndrome that needs to feel people care about them.
Never think yourself as a victim. Have a positive attitude.
Don't call her
You may need to be reminded that, you two breakup already. Your and her from love relationship turn back to friendship. It isn't like before you can call her several times in a day just want to tell her that you miss her or ask her eat already or not.
In the case you want to get your ex back, it isn't suitable to call her like before. Chances are, you'll say something which is not suitable and that may ruins your chance: try to pursue her, confess your feelings, want to date her out, etc
And there're many negative effects if you call her frequently - increase the feeling of missing her, show her you are needy and insecure, you're annoying and the list goes on. Therefore, don't call her if there's nothing important to say.
Move on with your life
You have your own life. Don't stop to move on with your life despite you've breakup with her. There're many people stop moving on with their life and live in the past.
They live their life like a walking dead. They continue going to work, eat, sleep, gossip with friends, but they are being soulless.
Don't forget you still have dreams that you want to achieve. You still have your mission in life which fuels you to keep moving towards your goals. Don't make women as your mission. You have bigger goal in your life, your life purpose.
This is the advice that you can hear everywhere. However, many people aren't really sure what does it mean. In easy words being yourself is "never be influenced by other people's actions and words and just do or say what you supposed to do or say."
Clear with that?
You always know what you are doing, but not everyone around you will know.
They give opinions and comments from their own perspective, but not yours. They don't put themselves in your shoes before giving those opinions, comments, rejections, criticisms, and disagreements. See: rejection doesn't make sense.
If someone tells you that you are hopeless to get your ex back, then ask them why he/she can say it so sure?
No one is responsible to your success except yourself. You're the only one who can make you success. Be yourself and never be influenced by others even that is her. You should have your own views
We are changing all the time - to be better or worse.
In your breakup case even if you are not wrong it is not necessarily that you have zero responsible to make the relationship come to an end. You must have responsible in your relationship.
If you want to get your ex back, you must change yourself. Your ex may finds you are not as attractive as before. You don't fit to her subconscious criteria any more which results in the case of breaking up.
Find out what makes you unattractive, change it. And find out what makes you attractive, improve it. So she will be attracted to you again.
Change and grow yourself is a continuous job no matter you're involving in a relationship or not. This is an endless journey.
However, remember always to be yourself. Don't get influenced by other people who try to stop you from improving yourself. For instance, some people such as your friends will tell you that you don't need to change yourself. Their purpose may want to tell you that you are already good enough, but in fact they are influencing you to stop growing.
Some people's advice are poison. For example, some people tell you "Don't waste your time, it cannot succeed.", "Stop dreaming, my friend." You know what you're doing and you have to judge and filter their advice with your wisdom.
In short, your attitude is matter for you to get your ex back. If you want to get your ex back, then you have to avoid the bad attitude - being wussy which shows you are needy, clingy, and insecure. Most nice guys also behave like wusses: see also: stop being a nice guy
In contrast, change your mindset and replace your bad attitude with good attitude - being yourself and moving on with your life. Never stop to improve and grow yourself and eliminate your bad habits.
Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.