Does the no contact rule work?
If you've been searching about information on breakups on the Internet, you certainly heard the term "no contact rule".
This is the rule about you don't contact your ex for a certain amount of time.
To more extent, it's about going cold turkey on your ex.
This rule is essential to getting your ex back.
I have used it before, and it is very effective.
When I stumbled upon some Internet forums I found that many people don't know about this rule and of course they never follow it.
They failed to get their ex back and lead to a more serious depression.
I don't want you to be like them.
I'll tell you everything you need to know about the no contact rule and what should you do so you don't shoot in the dark.
So, why go cold turkey?
Doesn't it contradict with the goal of getting your ex back?
No, inversely it's very important to the goal of getting your ex back.
Because the intention of the no contact rule is to giving you time to break through the breakup depression.
This enables you to calm down and accept the fact that the relationship is over.
In my previous article about recovering from a breakup I explained there are 6 stages of the breakup recovery process.
When you come to the Acceptance stage you accepted the fact that the relationship ended so you can recover from the breakup.
But normally people stuck at the bargaining stage.
At the bargaining stage, people keep doing things that remind them their ex because they are still hoping to rewind the relationship.
For examples, they listen to sad music and romantic songs, they watch romantic movies, they pay attention to the gifts, pictures, and memories, they go to the same places used to go together, they daydream about her, they see her Facebook and Instagram and the list goes on.
They just never keep their ex out of their mind.
These behaviors make them very likely to text message her, call her, go to her house, bump into her accidentally, contact her through mutual friends, write status messages on social media like Facebook that meant for her and so on.
No way my friend.
If you do these aka break the contact rule you'll backfire the situation so you'll be more depressed.
You'll be needy, clingy and wussy.
Women don't like needy guys. That's why nice guys finish last.
The no contact rule is actually about the "no bargaining rule".
If you don't attempt to bargain, you'll never think about contacting your ex.
So, no bargaining. At all.
You'll keep stuck at the bargaining stage until you move to the next stage.
The rule will be completely useless and meaningless if you listen to sad songs, think about her and daydream about getting her back.
In some extreme cases that people may be indulging in alcohol and drugs.
Your ex will never come back to you if you do these. Obviously.
So how long should you stick to the no contact rule?
Well, I don't have the answer. Because the answer is depending on your situation.
And that's not the right question to ask.
As just mentioned the intention of the rule is to making you calm and accepting the relationship is over.
You should stick to the rule as long as you still not calm and accept what happened.
Sticking to the no contact rule doesn't mean blindly avoiding the connection after a breakup.
Avoiding contact won't make any difference unless you convince your subconscious mind that everything is over.
From my experience, when you understand the stages of breakup recovery process getting over someone can be very fast.
In most cases that will be around 30 days. But I spent more than that because I was stuck at the bargaining stage for a long time.
When you stuck at the bargaining stage you'll always be needy and desperate and that will make you unattractive. See also: Mistakes on getting your ex back.
How does the no contact rule help to get your ex back?
Other than being calm and accepting what happened, sticking to the no contact rule gives you an advantage to changing yourself.
During the no contact period, you should improve yourself so when reconnecting your ex she will be impressed by your changes.
My suggestion is you should learn about what it takes to be successful with women.
If you best use of the no contacting period, you can impress her greatly and she'll be attracted to you again. So the chances of getting her back are increased.
Now comes to the meat of getting your ex back with the no contact rule.
After accepting what happened and improving to become a new version of you, the way of practicing the rule becomes different.
After impressing her with your changes and that she shows interest, you pull yourself back. In other words, you go cold turkey all over again.
So she will be thinking about you. She is unexpected that why you pull yourself back. You become unpredictable in her eyes and this increases your attractiveness.
In my previous article about why are women attracted to bad guys I explained that unpredictable is one of the traits of bad guys that make women feel attracted.
The act of disappearing after attracting her attention force her to think about you. And the more she thinks about you, the more she will become attached to you.
When she loses interests in you again, you appear and trigger her attention about you, and disappear again when she shows interest in you.
By repeating this cycle, she will become addicted to you so it is an easy job to get your ex back.
I've successfully made my ex to think about me with this practice, but I've decided to leave her because the past has negative impacts to the relationship so I decided to move on.
When sticking to the no contact rule, the only focus you should have is about yourself.
Never call her before you reach the Acceptance stage.
But what if your ex calls you?
No problem. It's OK to accept the call. It's not you call her so it's not against to the rule.
But you should talk only about the urgent topics and nothing personal.
Anything personal will break the rule and stuck you at the bargaining stage.
The no contact rule is essential.
You use the no contact period to break through the depression and improve yourself. When you accept what happened and become a better person then you can contact her and impress her with the changes.
When she's interested in you then you go cold turkey again, so she will be thinking about you and eventually become attached to you. So your chances to get her back increase greatly.
It's okay to accept her call during the no contact period but only chat about the urgent things and nothing personal.
Here's all you need to know about the no contact rule. You must commit to the rule if you insist on getting your ex back.
I did it. And sure you can.
I believe in you.