You Have to Know These 10 Fundamentals For Success With Women Inevitably
What are the fundamentals for success with women inevitably?
You should already know that a relationship is the interaction of emotions between people, and there are three emotional needs (aka attraction types) will determine your quality of relationship. The emotional needs are status, connection and security.
For better understanding of this article, I want you to read those articles regarding 3 levels of attraction, emotional needs, and attraction vs love if you haven't read. In fact, reading this article alone won't affect your comprehension very much but I wish you know the big picture and how thing works behind the scenes.
Regarding these 10 fundamentals, some of them may not familiar to you, some of them are common sense but chances are you neglect them when comes to dating and relationships. I don't know why many people are seeking advice for being successful with women but they almost neglect these fundamental things.
According to my observation, probably it's because many people are looking for instant gratification. Learning to be successful with women is a process, it can be slow or fast depending on each individual, but you can't skip the process. There's no shortcut in dating and relationships, people who seek for shortcut always end their relationship with same mistakes and become unnatural with women.
No special tactics or techniques in this article, they are the fundamentals and require time to improve. Let's begin.
10 Fundamentals For Success With Women Inevitably
Master people skills
First of all, you want to be good with people. According to my observation, those people who are not good with women generally are not good with people too. They have the difficulties to talk to people around them, both males and females. Their social skill sucks!
Social skill is really important because bad social skill can't sustain an interaction to be longer. People who lack of social skill normally can't sense what's happening around them, feel awkwardness around people, and hard to join in a conversation with ease. This can lead to the anxiety around women.
You want to be a people person. Develop the social skill you need so you are able to read people's emotion easily. As I mentioned interaction is a process of exchanging emotions /inner resources, to succeed with women it's important to know what's her emotional need and how should you respond to her need.
When you respond appropriately to her need, she would feels have a connection with you, the bond is strengthen so she would be attached to you. That's the moment she feels you are important in her life.
To be a people person who can relate with people easily, there's no quick fix. You have to go out and hang out with people. Don't stay at home watch tv, see Facebook, play games, etc. Get out from your room, go to talk to people, join outdoor activities, and make new friends. If you feel anxious around women, start to talk to them. Don't search online to see what "canned lines" can use to talk to women, that will not help you to improve.
It's easy to read here and there but not taking any action. Knowing and doing are two different things. You must gain experience in real life, merely read stuffs at home about how to make friend and influence people without implement what you have learned is totally useless and wasting your time.
To improve in social life is a slow process, but some people improve rapidly. That depends on where's your starting point (how good your foundation with people is).
Masculine attracts feminine, this is the nature. But somehow many guys behave like women without realizing it.
You want to be masculine, but not feminine. I explained there're four men's instincts in my free book that every man should finds back because feminized society programmed today's men to be feminize. The popularity of nice guys behaviors are one of the result. These men's instincts are competitive spirit, dominant, hunting, and territory.
In short, you have to appear physically and emotionally strong and masculine. To become stronger and more masculine, the only way is constantly improve yourself. Improve your strength and learn as many skills as you can.
Here's briefly what I do to be more masculine: have clear personal boundaries, take full responsibility for every aspect of my life, dress like a man, eat manly food, be social, no feminine behaviors, do not make women priority in life, and don't overly rely upon logic to solve problems in life.
Take care of your looks
Do looks matter? The answer is for sure. I have explained this in my previous article. If you aren't interested to read long article, then in short, looks do matter because you have to spark sexual attraction in her at the first place.
Don't judge a book by its cover, but human is not a book, and human mind is very complicated. People tend to judge someone by it's cover, and normally the judgment is 80% correct. Not to mention that women have great sixth sense and they look at things that normally we men would ignore. So take care of your looks well, otherwise you don't even have chance to interact with her.
So how to improve your looks? Dress manly, eat healthy food, sleep well, workout, style your hair, whiten your teeth, clean your face, clear off unwanted hair, display confident body language, etc. Do anything that you think can improve your looks, be consistent is the key.
Always strive to be the best person
If you want to be successful with women, then you have to always strive to be the best person you can be. Obviously, this doesn't only improve your dating and relationships, it also improves your other aspects of life. Give 100% and do your best in all aspects of life, that's what will help you a lot in your path to happiness and reach your full potential in your dating life.
Many men who are struggling with their dating life wonder what's the best approach, pickup line, canned material can help them to get girls, but in essence they don't look good, they are not in high status, in that situation they won't be able to create sexual attraction in women, instead they give a creepy vibe when they try to apply pickup line on girls and girls perceive them as weird.
That's why self-improvement is so important, psychically and emotionally. Many guys waste their time on studying pickup materials because they can't see the full picture of love. Think yourself as a business, you want to promote yourself to the women you want to do business with, so you have to brand yourself. Think carefully that what kind of the ideal person you want to be, then do your best to strive to be that person. This has to fully understand yourself at the first place.
This one is similar to the last point. You want to build a life you love if you want to be successful with women. Like what being said, you have to love yourself before you love women. If you don't even love yourself, why women have to love you?
So in addition to always strive to be the best person, you want to build a best life you truthfully love. In other words, you want to follow your life's passion. Women are attracted to those guys who have guts to go after what they really want in their life, contrary to nice guys who are tend to play safe in their life, it's so boring and unattractive. See why being nice to her doesn't work.
You design your life and give 100% efforts into building it, in the process of building your dream life you will learn many things, and when your life is getting better you build up your confidence. The clearer a man is about his purpose in life, the more confidence he has in himself.
The man who dares to go after what he wants, usually has many life experience, and this can be your resources as the materials to communicate with women. You can share the joys and tears in your hero's journey, share the interesting things about your last traveling, teach her something she doesn't know, etc, you design to live a life that women naturally want to be a part of.
Proximity is KING
Many guys are wondering where to find and meet new women, they have difficulties on meeting new women and knowing them. Typical pickup community would suggest to do cold approach to meet new women. And normally this is carried out in night bars or clubs. However, night bars or clubs are where most people would go just for fun and women would expect to be approached by some guys randomly.
I have never seen anyone get their dating life handled by cold approach in night bars or clubs. And I have never seen anyone who is truly happy inside with being a player and pickup girls in clubs 5 out of 7 days. What I believe the best thing to do instead of going to clubs is building a social circle that helps you to meet new girls.
In my previous article I said the relationship stages are from stranger > couple/friend> long term relationship, you can't get a true and healthy relationship by skipping stage straightly from stranger then to long term relationship. If you meet a girl in a bar, you won't turn her into your long term girlfriend overnight. But if both of you are in a mutual social circle, you can meet her frequently without she feeling weird.
Seeing a girl and interacting with her on a regular basis is very powerful. You can develop the attraction and comfort to satisfy her emotional needs (status and connection) naturally. So what you should do is associated with the right people. I have a friend whose father is the shareholder of several famous clubs, his dating life is handled well because he has a cool friends circle, and he knows new girls through the social circle and one of them became his girlfriend currently.
That's why I say people skills are very important. Not only to interact with women, but also to get cool friends and set up a social circle. My friend didn't do anything special, he is masculine and has good looks, he just kept seeing and interacting with her on a regular basis, and begin to flirt with her. Naturally between them have chemistry and later establish a long term relationship.
Think of long term and short term
I have personally seen an alpha male that he never lack of women in his life, and that makes him even more attractive. Because women's mind is biologically wired with copying behavior. Women tend to be attracted to a man who has many women attracted to him.
He has been involved in short term relationship for a long time and now he has a long term girlfriend. The lesson that I can learn from him is, you have to care the both long term and short term game. A lot of guys who want to be a pickup artist have learned how to pickup women, the problem is they can't keep the women. They are terrible at handling long term relationship.
However, the guys who don't want to be a player and sincerely want to have a girlfriend don't know how to play the short term game - how to flirt, how to touch, the attractive body language, etc. That makes them hard to get a woman attracted to them emotionally and turn the relationship into a long term relationship.
That's why long term and short term game plan are equally important. You can't get women attracted to you if you are poor at playing short term game. And you can't keep women if you are poor at playing long term game. Many guys who learn PUA stuffs their real goal is actually get a girlfriend that loves each other, but most PUA community teach them how to bang as many chicks as they can and thought the ability to bang chicks from bars and clubs as success with women.
That's not what most guys want - be a player and have to always find a new chick after get dumped.
What you should do is learn the short term game well, be attractive so that many women attracted to you and this makes you even more attractive in women's eyes, then play the long term game to get the woman you like into a committed relationship.
Never use logic
Once I have heard one of my girl friends said she is doubted that there are programs teaching guys how to be successful with woman, it's not gonna work in her opinion. And yes, she is right.
Because it's an unshakable fact that there's no universal formula for you to win a girlfriend. There is simply no step-by-step method can help you to run through every woman and get 100% success. Not to mention that every woman is different, every woman has her unique unconscious criteria due to different beliefs, past experiences, views, etc. Each individual has different portion of emotional needs in relationship stages. There is no one fits to all method, never and ever.
All my content is about helping guys to improve in every aspect of life, so you can be attractive to women and naturally success in your dating life.
It's all about the vibe you give to women, it's all about the interaction of emotions. That's why you have to improve your 3 levels of attraction to satisfy her emotional needs. In other words, you have to actually becoming that cool, attractive dude that irresistible to women.
When you have a mindset that there's a method or checklist you can follow and get success with women, you tend to become unnatural because you'll analyze each interaction with them. Women will feel weird because they can catch your subtle mood that you are not fully engage in the interaction, you are thinking something else and trying to get her validation.
You will be too self-conscious about your eye contact, body language, conversation, and the list goes on, you don't act naturally but deliberately to attract her. Women will know that. The bottom line is every relationship has to establish and flow naturally like water.
Success with women is a lifestyle
Success with women is not a skill. Many guys have wrong mindset that success with women is a skill that you can master with repetition and time dedicated to it. They watch pickup videos at Youtube, read all field reports and stories in forum, then go out to approach women everyday. They believe the more you practice approaching women, the more success you'll have.
This is completely wrong. Hours of approaching won't make you more attractive and success with women. As mentioned, it's all about the vibe you give to women. Success with women is a lifestyle.
Success with women as a lifestyle works when all other fundamentals work together. In other words, you have good looks, you are masculine, you have good social skills, you are always being your best and you are passionate about your life, you have cool friend circle, many women attracted to you, and you are a natural person. Bang! You are in business.
The last fundamental for success with women is honesty. This attitude is a must not only in your dating life, but also in other aspects of life.
First of all, you have to be honest to yourself. You want to do your best to dig into and fully understand yourself. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What is your life purpose? What do you really want from love relationship? Does your mindset about love is correct? What are your emotional needs?
Don't stop to ask yourself important questions, understanding yourself is a part of self improvement. Without understanding yourself, how could you improve?
Being honest means that you always be true to yourself. You don't try to cheat and manipulate other people, and you also don't hide your emotions and desires from them. This doesn't mean you want to confess your love to her. You want to do thing at the right time. Chances are most of the time you feel you want to confess your love is just because you can't control your own emotions.
Being honest to express your emotions and desires need good communication skills. One of the things should be noted is it must be unconditional, without expectation. There should be no expectations, no desire to control people's perceptions of you. Because expectation leads to neediness, you tend to behave like a wuss if you are needy. This is unattractive in women's eyes.
You must be honest with yourself especially with this area of self improvement. If you were rejected by women, admit it. If you were dumped by your ex, admit it. If you were unattractive, admit it. We are not perfect, all people have flaws in themselves. Only if you acknowledge your flaws, then you can improve it. If you deny your flaws, how could you improve?
Failure is not a shame. Bury your head in the sand to escape from facing your flaws is only the shame. Don't scare to make mistakes, do your best to avoid critical mistakes is enough to keep your relationship in good shape. Always play safe in a relationship won't create many meaningful, unforgettable and excited memories in your dating life.
These are the 10 fundamentals for you to be successful with women. Surely this is a long journey, but that is how the thing works. If you want a truly healthy and happy relationship there's no other way out. Commit to yourself that you want to succeed with women, it's your choice. If you want to fail with women, it's your choice too.
I wish you all the best.
About the author
Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.