Are you struggling to find enough phone conversation topics to say?
I'm used to be you, always worry about what to say and scare the conversations started to become boring and monotone.
I met my current girlfriend in my university and we were from different cities.
Every time when semester break we would back to our own hometown and the way we keep contacting each other is through the phone calling.
I consciously learned many techniques to make the conversations longer and more interesting.
If your conversations with your girlfriend are becoming shorter and less interesting, you need to take action now.
You don't want to take risks making your relationship suffer, right?
From my own experience, I found the main problem of making the conversations interesting is people care too much about the content than the connection.
People always pay attention to the content - "What should I say?", "Is this suitable to say?", "Does she like the topic?", etc.
But in fact, most people don't remember the content but the connection (feelings and emotions) with them.
I have learned 15 lessons from my long-distance relationship and they can help you never run out of phone conversation topics to say.
I recommend you to have the phone calling with your girlfriend at a regular time.
A regular time can make you both feel excited when the time is around the corner.
But I would suggest to having the calls at night.
Because at night you already experienced your day and you have things to share about what you have done.
However, that doesn't mean you can't call her at other time.
If you have a regular calling session and you call her at other time can make her feel surprised and unexpected.
Expectations are boring. It's one of the reasons why nice guys always finish last because they are very expectable.
I have a regular night calling session, but I occasionally call my girlfriend at morning or afternoon.
She feels surprised and never knows when I will call her even though she knows we would talk together at night.
In previous article how to listen I mentioned one of the things is to be curious about your woman.
When you are genuinely curious about your woman, you will have a lot of questions to ask about so the topics are numerous.
This will also let her know that you are really interested in her but not call her because of the obligation.
This technique we always use unconsciously in our daily conversations.
You get more topics to say by relating your current topics to other topics.
For example, when my girlfriend said her friends act weird and their relationship seems different, I related the topics to my own experience about how weird one of my friends is and why I ended the friendship with him.
By relating topics to other topics, you can talk a lot and make the topics seem interesting.
If you know how to expand the topics, your conversation ideas are kicking in numerously.
By expanding the topics not only make the conversations longer but also help to find more related topics to say.
For the example above, I expanded the weird friend topic to the topic about how ones' childhood influenced the way he thinks about the world. And then I expanded the topic again to the topic about if I'm a parent how would I teach my children about the life.
If you use relating and expanding techniques together you will have a least hours of topics to say.
Preparing is essential even though you want to make your conversations spontaneously.
In my previous article first date conversations I explained that you should do preparations for the conversations so the conversations are not boring and going to die.
Take out a piece of paper and list down the topics you could say.
When talking on the phone you feel running out of things to say, take a glance at the paper and choose one topic to say.
Preparations prevent you to feel nervous and make the conversations go smoothly.
One of the techniques I use with the phone conversation topics is resuming the last idea we have talked about yesterday or former.
For example, she talked about her brother's girlfriend before, so after talking about what I've done the day, I ask her what happened to her brother's girlfriend after the last talking.
By resuming the last idea, we can talk more and more and she thought I care about her because I remembered what she said.
This one is very important.
I like the routine lifestyle.
I do things nearly the same every day because they are my goals and I don't want to waste time on other things that are not helping me to achieve goals.
However, only do something new you will have new things to say.
So besides doing my own things, I take some time to explore and try new thing.
For examples, I watch a new movie, I try a new exercise, I go out to try new coffee shop, etc.
Then I talk about the experience, feelings and any other things that I feel resonated/conflicted about.
Telling stories are a powerful weapon in having a good phone conversation.
People like stories. Always.
We are telling and listening to stories every day.
A movie is a story. A song is a story. An experience is a story. Almost everything is a story.
The problem is the way of telling stories.
If you use wrong ways to tell stories, a good story can be a bad one.
I personally like to tell stories in the humorous way, because I like to make my girlfriend laugh.
Being humor and funny is one of the traits of bad guys and implies that you are an interesting person instead of a serious person.
When you are interesting, people want to talk more with you. Simple as that.
I like to play roles in the phone conversation with my girlfriend.
For example, I told my girlfriend how one of my friends called me and asked about where to find a famous dessert to eat. And how my friend misunderstood what I said and kept repeating the same sentence to me.
I imitated and played the role as my friend to let her know how my friend acted and how I responded. So I played two roles at once: My friend and I.
This made my girlfriend laugh and she obviously liked the way how I told the story.
Sometimes, I found interesting topics that shared on my Facebook and I share them to my girlfriend in the private chatbox.
I less likely to chat in the chatbox. In my opinion, text messaging is the last choice of communication tools because phone calling can know more about the person and respond immediately. By using the phone we can listen to the tone and emotions of the person, but text messenger can't.
So when talking in the phone I would mention the things I shared in the chatbox and that become our phone conversation topics.
You want to try video chatting if you haven't tried before.
Video chatting can see each other and notice where she is at, her hairstyle, her wears, and the list goes on.
She showed me her parents, brother, sister and her dog through the video chatting. We feel interesting, connected, and excited when doing that.
By seeing each other's face, we would miss more each other and can't wait the day we are going to meet.
This is one of the topics that you can say to your girlfriend on the phone - What's your plan when you both meet.
Having a mutual relationship goal is important to the health of a relationship and especially for the long-distance relationship.
Even if you are not in a long-distance relationship, you can still talk about this topic.
I told her that when we meet together we will go for a nice one-day trip and have a nice dinner together. She can't wait the day to come.
In my previous dating article I said silence moment is very normal to a date.
It's not an exception to the phone conversation.
Just feel relaxed and allow the silence to be there, it's not a matter.
Tell her you are thinking about her, or you are hoping you can meet her, or you are hoping you can kiss/touch her.
You can find new conversation topics later.
Don't feel nervous. Be relaxed and cool.
One tactic you can use is asking her to wait for you a while.
Say that you want to have a drink at the kitchen, you want to go to the toilet, you have something to do, then use the time to think other topics and back to the conversation later.
You can be creative for the reason asking her to wait for you.
This can also give a short break to both of you so you don't feel tired so fast and able to keep talking.
Although I learned many lessons on how to make the phone conversation longer and more interesting, but it's more important to know when to end the conversation.
Sometimes, it's better to end the phone call than keep talking.
You don't have to talk everything at once.
Save some topics to the next day. Then you never need to worry about lack phone conversation ideas to say.
So how to know when to end?
Video chatting helps a lot on this. When you see she appears tired and has other things to do then just end the call.
When her voice sounds tired, just end the call.
When you have things to do, just end the call.
When you feel tired, you end the call.
Like mentioned above my girlfriend and I talk mostly at night we will end the call when feel tired and say goodnight to each other.
If you don't know when to stop talking, chances are the conversation will become dry, boring and monotone.
Now you already know that how I never run out of things to say with my girlfriend on the phone.
Remember what matter is the connection, but not the content.
Use these 15 lessons you should have endless conversation topics., you never need to worry about the content.
Pay attention to the bond between you and her, so the relationship is solid and never collapse.
Photo credit: hola amiga