Are you struggling with how to gain self-confidence? Do you feel inferior compare to your peers? Do you know successful people have solid self-confidence?
Three questions above show you that having solid self-confidence is an important and precious asset in your life. Many people don't feel confident in themselves while they're dealing with problems.
They know they need to improve their self-confidence, but how?
You must be ever heard that people giving advice like - positive thinking, be confident, don't be afraid, etc. But all these advice are incorrect, well, they're only partly correct.
Why? This is because self-confidence problem is a set of beliefs problem. All these advice such as positive thinking is merely a thought but not a belief.
Therefore, if you're following such kind of advice then you'll never solve the self-confidence root problem. Your self-confidence will never be solid and always betray you whenever the pressure is high.
Your thoughts are your world. But do you know that your thoughts come from your beliefs? If you have self-confidence problems, then you must have limiting beliefs that holding you back to be a confident person.
To overcome your limiting beliefs you have to know how your limiting beliefs formed. After knowing how your limiting beliefs formed, learn how to create new empowering beliefs for you to replace those limiting beliefs.
Remember, self-confidence is not more than a set of beliefs. Therefore, if you want to gain solid self-confidence then you have to focus on changing the beliefs themselves instead of the thoughts.
Of course, all those advice based on thoughts are great, but they're not powerful if you have limiting beliefs.
For instance, if your mindset (beliefs) are negative, how can you think positively? This is a myth that people think that gaining self-confidence can be done by changing their thoughts.
If you don't believe in yourself, how can you avoid not being influenced by others easily?
Some examples of empowering beliefs about self-confidence are "Nothing is impossible", "I can achieve anything if I work seriously", "People who reject me don't know what they're talking about", etc.
Most successful people are confident people. If you want to be successful, then you have to think like them. Successful people less often to worry about their self-confidence problem, because they're busy in building their dream life. They're busy in designing the life they want and self-confidence is merely a byproduct.
Therefore, think like successful people can bring you the solid self-confidence naturally. In addition, knowing how successful people think will also know how unsuccessful people think.
Avoid the wrong thoughts will protect you from ruining your self-confidence and put yourself on the right track to being successful. See 6 ways to think like confident people
People don't have solid confidence in the area that they don't know.
For example, a person who knows how to sell a car doesn't necessarily know how to sell a house. He may confidently think that he can sell a car to a person but doesn't think he can sell a house to him.
This is because he know lots of detail information in car industry, such as the brands of car, the engines, the wheels, tendency in the marketplace, etc but he doesn't know anything about the property industry - how to borrow the loans, when to sign contracts, how many acres is the park, etc.
Therefore, when talking about cars he'll become very confident in himself and speak confidently and firmly. However, he then becomes humble and discourage when talking about properties because he has limited knowledge on this.
If you want to be confident in certain realms, then learn the big picture will get you there.
Many people don't have self-confidence because they don't believe in themselves. They don't believe they've abilities to solve problems.
For instance, if you believe that you're able to attract the woman that you want, you'll not worry about woman issues, and you'll act confidently in front of her. A man who is attractive must be confident.
To increase your self-confidence, you must master enough life skills such as communicating skills, interpersonal skills, leadership, etc. When you learn the skills, you must use them whenever have chances, so you'll internalize them and become reflexes.
Whenever you find yourself doing something you are good at, remember keep praising yourself through your self-talk. This is very important because keep praising yourself through your self-talk will form new beliefs for you. Self-confidence is not more than a set of beliefs.
You can use a notebook to collect the compliments you get from others and record the achievements that you truly proud with. Read what you wrote every day before you're going to sleep, repetition of statements will create beliefs for you so you become confident. The more skills you develop the more confident you will become.
As mentioned above keep praising and repeating compliments and achievements to yourself can help you to gain self-confidence. However, don't confuse this with affirmation.
Affirmation can be done without evidence but this will not help you to build self-confidence.
For instance, if you're weak in leadership skills, don't affirm to yourself that you're improving by reading books about how to be a leader without taking any actions.
If you never practice what is written in the books, affirmation is useless to help you improve your leadership, orderly this will never improve your self-confidence. Your self-confidence never improve even though you affirm yourself you're improving daily.
Therefore, although repetition of statements can help you to create beliefs, but if those evidence are not genuine, beliefs can't be formed.
That's why I said you want to collect compliments from others instead of write some fake compliments in your notebook. Therefore, do things better and better so you'll get more compliments and hence you'll be more confident.
In short, to build the solid self-confidence you want to focus on changing your beliefs instead of your thoughts.
Learn how to think like confident people and know the big picture of the related aspects. Master more and more life skills and realize that you're evolving yourself. Keep reminding yourself your points of strength through repetition of compliments and achievements to yourself.
Don't be fake to yourself, use genuine compliments and achievements to convince yourself eventually you'll build solid self-confidence.
Photo credit: Son of Groucho