Why She's Treating You Hot And Cold?

Women act hot and cold with you?

Why women sometimes treat you hot and sometimes cold?

Are you feeling curious and confused why she is treating you hot, but later treating you cold?

I know the feeling, it's feeling bad and suffering. You don't understand why she treats you so different each time. When she treats you good, closely and nicely, you feel she likes you. But then later, she treats you so bad and even teases you, you wish to know what's happening right now.

Does she like me?

Does she just wants to be friend?

Does she feel I'm not attractive?

What the hell is going on?!

And chances are, the more you think of this way, the more you are attracted to her. The more you are attracted to her, the less you are in control.

When you can't make yourself in control, it's very high probability that you'll ruin your chances to be with her. Even if she was attracted to you, you'll mess up everything and turn off the attraction button.

But your mind is in chaos, you think of her every single minute and your daily activities are being influenced.

I personally have been experienced such kind of situation, most guys have experienced it. But do you know the reason why she's treating you hot and cold and how can you deal with it?

If you deal it with the wrong way, chances are you'll kill your attraction to her immediately. If you deal it with correct way, chances are you'll increase your attractiveness to her.

Why Women Act Hot And Cold With You?

Obviously, she has a special feeling for you. However, basically, she doesn't know what the exact feeling is. 

You have to know that, women are instinctively emotional animal, they behave more on their emotional side, less on logical side. Women would buy their favorite thing just depend on its appearance, but less on think about the usefulness of the thing. See also: the key difference between men and women

That's why they buy so many clothes, bags and shoes. They can't wear all of them, their clothes can stand for several months even if they don't wash their clothes. But they can't control it, because they are emotional animal.

So, if women treat you emotionally, that means you are special for her, at least you are not a normal friend to her. 

But does it mean she's attracted to you?

No, it may or may not. 

Chances are, she's interested in you. But this doesn't mean she likes you or attracted to you.

It's a common thing among women. Especially after a breakup.

The reason she treats you hot a while and cold a while, repeating this cycle is because she is confused. 

She is confused what's the feeling that she has for you. She's testing her own feeling on you by treating you hot and cold. I know it sounds like experimenting, but it's the truth. Women always don't know what they do really want.

They tell you they want a nice guy, they want a man who is wealthy, they want a man who is handsome. But eventually, you see they are with a guy who is not wealthy, handsome and treat them bad. But women still fall for them. See: why being nice to her doesn't work

What the hell?

The takeaway is, they are emotional and they don't know what they want.

In breakup case, if she's treating you inconsistently, then she's confused. She likes you, she wants to be with you, but she also want to stick to her decision of breakup. It could also be that she has feelings for someone else. Weird right? This is women, cute aren't they?

Women's behaviors are inconsistent is because they are just too confused in her mind to figure it out herself.

Therefore, don't freak out because of her emotions. Don't focus on what she said, instead focus on her behaviors.

What can you do about it?

This part is very important. Because if she's confused about her feeling for you, it's because she's interested in you. When she is interested in you, it's easy to turn that feeling into attraction.

It's pity that most guys take wrong approach at this phase. They think women are inconsistent is because they don't give a solid answer. So women are confused.

So what they would do? I guess you can guess it.

They buy her flowers, gifts, dinners, drinks, and confess their feelings to her. They think if they let her know they are into her, she won't be confused anymore, and fall in love with them. 

No! Attraction doesn't work this way. Attraction is not logical, it's emotional. When you want to treat love in logical way, the emotions will fade away. 

She will lost the attraction in you. She'll not be interested in you anymore. This is how most guys mess up their chance to get women to like them.

If you have messed up because you confessed your love, then stop it immediately, and act normally like a normal friend. If you don't act anything yet, then pay attention because maybe it's only one chance for you to do the right thing.

Let's get thing clear first. She treats you hot and cold, is because something is bothering her. And she wants to solve it. 

The only thing you can do for her is, let her figure thing out herself.

Don't be a nice guy and confess your love. Never and ever be clingy, needy and wussy. Don't freak out if she ignores you, don't feel bad because she neglects you, she needs space and time to understand herself.

What you can do is get yourself in control, everything. Your emotions, health, mind, and daily life, just about everything, get in control. 

I know you are curious what is her feeling for you, or want to know what is she thinking about. Why she did this to you? Why she said this, but acted in that way? Why she seemingly liked you, but dating with other guys?

However, there's nothing you can control. In my free ebook Attract Women With Personal Boundaries I have explained that no matter what she wants to do, it's her decision, you have zero power to control it. If you try to control the uncontrollable, you'll be suffering. Period.

Just be calm. If she wants to let you know what's she thinking, she will let you know after she figures it out. Just let it be her decision to share her feelings with you.

So, you just concentrate on having a good time with her. Make her laugh when you are with her, this will associate the good feelings when she's with you. So she will remember when she's with you, she's happy.

Stay calm about the whole thing, she will start thinking differently. Chances are, she will secretly wish to be with you. Just don't mess up the thing. 


Lets recap what I have just explained. Women are emotional and they don't know what they want. They are inconsistent to you because they are confused the feeling for you. The only thing you should do is, stay calm and concentrate on having a good time with her. 

Remember, whatever happens, always be cool. Be a man.

Photo creditMarcy

About the author


Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.


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