6 Keys to Having High Self Esteem

Having high self esteem is essential to great achievement in any areas of your life.

There're many people having self esteem issues as they feel themselves less worthy comparing to others. High self esteem is an indicator of mind-mature people. If you don't have solid self esteem then you'll always feel you're inferior to other people. 

This is not good for you mentally and physically, if you have low self esteem then chances are you'll get into 'self-defeating' patterns in your mind, you tell yourself that you're really bad, stupid, and sucks. 

Therefore, you'll end up with depression for a long time which may affects your life aspects such as your career, relationships, and studies. As you know negative emotions will affect your health, your healthy will be affected too.

If you have low self esteem, then you'll feel bad when there's a problem troubles you. For instance, you'll feel bad when your girlfriend is getting closer with other male friends. They may seemingly flirt with each other, but you've nothing to do because there's nothing happen yet. 

At this point, your 'self-defeating' pattern is on, your mind defeats yourself continually because you've low self esteem. You subconsciously afraid you'll lose her if she likes other guys. This affects your life quality eventually.  

Therefore, how to get rid of self esteem issue is an important lesson you must learn. Having high self esteem will not only help you to overcome the inferiority, but also help you to face challenges in your life. People who always feel helpless and don't know what to do when they encounter challenges are those who normally have low self esteem.

So, what are the keys to having high self esteem?

The keys to having high self esteem

Believe in yourself

To have high self esteem, you have to believe in yourself. But how? Believe in yourself is a very common advice from people but there's lack of information on how to believe in yourself. Before sleeping on your bed repeat the affirmation to yourself for thousand times is not the genuine way to make you believe in yourself.

First of all, you need to know the fact that self esteem problem is a set of beliefs problem. In other words, if you want to deal with your self esteem problem you got to change your beliefs instead of your thoughts. 

If you focus on changing your thoughts, you'll enter into a vicious routine which is you'll feel good for several days after affirming yourself, and then you feel bad again. To be felt good again, you have to affirm yourself again and again because your self esteem is not solid and permanent.

Don't give weight to others' criticism

Low self esteem people feel bad because they don't believe in their own abilities. They don't fully believe in themselves. They subconsciously believe they're inferior to other people. 

In this circumstance your moods are not stable and easily be influenced by other people. Other people's opinion will be very important for you to make judgement. Accordingly, this affects your mood. Remember, don't give weight on others' opinion even the experts if you are good in the related aspects.

In my article rejection doesn't make sense explained that people who judge you normally don't know much about you. The people included your parents, friends, girlfriend/boyfriend, and even the experts in the field. This is because their opinions come from their perspective but not yours. They don't put themselves into your shoes, even they do, they can't feel exactly the same like you.

You have to believe in yourself, if you know things gonna work after doing hard researches, then don't give weight to other people's rejection, criticism, and judgement. You have to try out yourself since you believe in yourself. Are you with me?

Find evidence to support your point

To overcome your inferiority you have to find clues to prove you're worthy. This is the reason why affirmation is useless even if you repeat it for thousand times every night, because the affirmation doesn't based on the evidence to prove you're worthy. 

For instance, you're not able to convince yourself to believe you're handsome without evidence to prove it. You repeat " I'm handsome..I'm handsome.." and at last you're still not handsome. Do you think your belief about your appearance will change like this? Instead you should do some affords for it like putting some nice clothes on yourself, get a new hair style, teeth whitening and collect the compliments from other people as the evidences to prove you're attractive.

Your affirmation is based on these compliments from other people instead of your self hypnosis. That's how the thing works. After that, you want to test your beliefs, do you believe that you are worthy?

Monkey test

You want to do a 'monkey test' to yourself which has been explained in this article. If you're a man, say this to yourself 'I'm a man.' If you're a woman, then say this to yourself 'I'm a woman.' Then observe your inner world, how do you feel this statement, is it feels genuine? Then you say this to yourself again, ' I'm a monkey.' 

How do you feel for this time? True or false statement? Sure you'll feel it's false because you're human being. This kind of feeling is an indicator are the statements conflict to your beliefs. Say ' I'm handsome.' if you have similar feeling to the monkey statement then you're still don't believe in yourself that you're handsome.  

Change your limiting beliefs

Those beliefs that prevent you to have high self esteem are so called as limiting beliefs. Sometimes your self esteem issues have several limiting beliefs at once. For instance, you've collected lots of compliments as evidences but you still feel bad. Then there might still have other limiting beliefs holding you back such as your girlfriend don't think you're handsome, or other people more handsome compare to you.

You have to replace these limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs. To do this you want to fix all the problems that created your opposing beliefs. For instance, although your girlfriend don't think you're handsome, but you're attractive, that's why she is attracted to you and be your girlfriend. Other people more handsome to you, but they don't have girlfriend. See also: how to reprogram your subconscious mind

Perfection is not the point

In addition, don't be a perfectionist in anything. Perfection is not the point. You have to know this is the world, nothing is perfect. Perfectionism will make you feel terrible stress if you find that you don't do things in perfect. Furthermore, perfectionism often cause procrastination happened. If you are procrastinating your tasks and goals, see how to stop procrastinating right now.

In short, to have high self esteem you want to focus on altering your beliefs instead of your thoughts. Don't give weight to other people's opinion, find out your limiting beliefs and fix them with empowering beliefs. To install new beliefs, you want to create experience and collect evidence for your new beliefs. At last, don't be perfectionist, perfect is not the point. World with some little shortcomings only seem lovable.

Photo credit: dtpancio via cc

About the author

RIO YEE

Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.

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