Don't Buy Gifts to A Girl Too Early

Many men buy gifts to a girl when they like the girl. When modern men meet a girl they like they will start to think how to get her attention by being nice to her. One of the most popular actions is buying gifts for the girl they like. However, this is one critical mistake that turns women off which many men don't realize consciously.

Being nice to women is not an ideal way to approach them. (see also: why being nice to women doesn't work). In fact, women love all kind of nice things men do to them such as opening doors for them, pulling out chairs for them, using your hands to protect them when walking through a crowded room or market.

However, overly being nice to women can make you be a Mr. nice guy in her impression. This is not attractive to women because women's mind is biologically wired to be attracted to bad guys. In fact, bad guys buy presents for women too, but they do this in their own terms contrary to nice guys' intent is to get women to like them.

Mr. nice guys do nice things to women with expectation that women will like them back due to their so sweet and warm actions. Actually this is one variation of controlling people. You want to control women to like you by being nice to her.

First and foremost, the correct way to approach women is you want to establish sexual attraction at the first place. Once the sexual attraction is established, you'll be easier to get her to fall in love with you. If you don't make sure there's sexual attraction exist in the relationship, chances are buying gifts to her will get you drop into friend zone.

Lack of self confidence

Why many men tend to buy gifts to the women they like? Lacking of self confidence is one of the biggest reasons why men are likely to do so. They don't have solid self confidence to themselves that they're able to attract women with their own values. 

They're so convinced that they're going to get rejected, therefore they try to do nice things to her so she doesn't fed up and leave them. Complimenting to her, buying her gifts, drinks, flowers and be her driver are actions drive by their poor self confidence to make sure women won't leave them.

You think you're being nice to her and she likes it, but in most cases you're just annoying her. Your inappropriate intention makes all the nice things like bribery, the nice things become not nice. They should not be that way, instead they should be done chivalrously and out of wussiness.

You may think that it's because you love her, you want to prove your love with buying her favorite gifts. But in fact you are just prove to her that you're a weak, low value, needy and clingy guy. See also The self confidence that attracts women

How and when to buy gifts to a girl

Do in your own terms

If you have to buy a gift to her, don't do it in "nice guy"'s way, instead do it in your own terms. Nice guys' actions are easily to be expected by women, when women get gifts from nice guys they don't feel surprised, instead they may feel pressured because they're force to receive the gifts with no reasons.

Don't think that you can do something to make her to like you. You shall never have a thought like "If I do XX to her, then I'll get XX result." The reason you do nice things for her should be you genuinely want to do something nice for her, because you love her.

And don't think that you can attract her by being nice to her, in my free ebook I've explained that attraction is an instinct, it's not a choice, it's not deliberately. If you're meant a man to her, she doesn't be able to control herself not attracted to you. See also how to be a bad guy without being jerk

If she's not attracted to you, then no matter how many gifts, drinks and flowers you buy for her, it's not going to improve your relationship any further. However, even if she is attracted to you, if you send her too many gifts and too frequent she is able to expect your actions, then this will create reverse effects and it may even lessen the attraction that she already feels for you.

That's why buying her gifts is not a suggested way for you always do. You want to send her gifts with your own terms but not being expected.

You have to hold back yourself on the "niceness", gifts, drinks, flowers, etc, because women want something that she feels genuine, that she earned from you. You send her gifts because she deserves it and you do this in your own terms, not because that you want to grab her attention, make her like you or get any benefit from her. True love doesn't need return. 

Let relationships work naturally

You have to avoid getting trap into another philosophy - "you're not doing nice things for her because you want something from her.". You want to let the relationships work naturally - buy her gifts if it's needed, avoid if there's not necessarily. 

Bear this in your mind, women are attracted to men who are "men". Be confident when you're approaching women. You don't need to buy gifts for her to get her attention, because you deserve to attract her with your own values. 

If you aren't confident to yourself then you need to change yourself. You want to improve yourself constantly in order to increase your attractiveness and women will be attracted to you naturally.

Do you have goals in your life? Do you know what's your life purpose? When you know these answers, your uncertainty in your life will be cleared. So you won't on walkabout in your life, hence you'll be confident in your life.

In my free book I've explained that women have bonding instinct so they have great sixth sense. If you've solid self confidence, women know it instantly. And if you have improved yourself, women notice it too. Therefore, keep improving yourself will increase your attractiveness and you'll be able to attract women naturally.

Final words

In short, if you want to buy gifts to a girl, don't do it too soon if you just know her not much time and don't do it too many times even if she's attracted to you. I'm not saying that you have to be stingy, you just need to do this in your own terms. 

Your intent shouldn't be trying to get her to like you. If you really love her, you won't expect a return from her if you buy her gifts. Otherwise, you'll kill her respect to you.

Image source: MENI from ASO! & Soothe

About the author

RIO YEE

Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.

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