First of all, you need to be able to answer this question, what do you really want in a relationship and in a woman?
Dating and relationships is one of the life areas where you can improve. It means that you can have a game plan in order to be successful in the realm of dating and relationships.
That's why the question is so important, the answer would be your relationship goals. You can set a game plan which is aligning with your goals and work toward them.
How to know if you are setting correct goals? Ask yourself, is it will truly make you happy? What will make you happy right now? What will make you happy in the long term? By asking yourself these questions you will know what are your needs and know what you should be working toward.
However, many guys operate in "I don’t know what I want, but I know I want something good" mode. This is normal in PUA communities, they just blindly follow what PUA gurus teach them but never stop and ask themselves what they really want in a relationship and in a woman.
In short, they have no standards.
A man with standards know what he wants in a relationship: She has to be attractive. She must has a good sense of humor. She is emotionally stable. She is hardworking. The list goes on, you must have standards.
Normally those guys who don't have standards is because they are lost with women. They don't know how they can attract women, they don't know what to do to improve their attractiveness, they don't know what women are attracted to, they just completely lost with women. Therefore, they don't know what is possible for them.
Since they don't know what is possible, most of them will just take anything they can get, even if it's lower than their standards (although they can't sure). They will settle for less than. For example, they accept a woman even though they don't feel she is attractive enough simply because they scare if there're no other women would like them.
They never honestly ask themselves what they truly want, because they don't think they can get it, they don't think they have choices. They just shut the opportunities themselves.
So it's important to know your goals. What kind of relationship do you want?
Generally speaking, there are short term and long term relationships.
Short term relationships are less on committed level. People usually called short term relationships "hook-ups" or "one night stands".
Most of the PUA techniques allow you to get short-term relationships, mostly they need to be carried out in bars or clubs. Many guys who just want to get a girlfriend after participating in PUA industries change their mind become want to be a pickup artist due to they don't know what they want, they don't have standards. Therefore, PUA gurus set the standards for them: to sleep with as many attractive girls as possible.
For sure there are people honestly want to sleep with as many attractive girls as possible, there's nothing wrong if you want short-term relationships.
To have short term relationships basically you need to be your best version of yourself and cold approach many women (day and night). Or get women through social circle. The point is play the number game, until you meet those who are down to fuck.
Short term relationships are good because, well, sex is always fun. You require no long term sacrifice or responsibility on your part. And you can practice your dating skills on many women. You have the chance to experience different women and test what works for you.
However, most guys feel emotionally unfulfilled in short-term relationships, they feel shitty afterwards. Sex without any emotional connection can be unfulfilling, there's no love exist. This includes sex buddies relationship. See: 4 typical types of relationship
They can also get a bad reputation as a player, this will impact how other women perceive them and harm their image.
Long-term relationships are relationships that enter committed level, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, where you are officially dating and committed to being monogamous. Both sides are willing to give commitments in the relationship and work toward the same goals.
You can have the best sex experience as it is with someone you feel very emotionally connected. You can share your deepest experiences with her and show your vulnerable side.
However, long term relationships are not easy. Not only that you need to constantly improve yourself, but also there are many attractive women are simply not a good girlfriend material.
Guys who are very good in many aspects: looks, wealth, health, intelligence, etc, etc still fail with women because they don't choose a good woman. Especially those guys who don't have standards would simply take what is given to them, without considering how horrible the woman as a spouse is.
They don't screen women out before entering long term relationship. They secretly hope "people will change later" would happen. Chances are, this won't happen naturally.
How to get the relationship you want
You have to screen women before entering any relationship. So you know it's worth it, or not worth it. Before that you should already know your standards, you know what is important to you.
It is your life. You should be serious about this.
You can decide whether you want to have short term relationships or long term relationships with women. Majority of men are just want to have a girlfriend and my intention is to help them to maximize their chance. But I don't mean short term relationships are wrong, there's no right or wrong relationship.
The kind of relationship that meets your goals is the right relationship. Different people have different answers.
What is your goal?
What is your standard?
No one can tell you what you should want. It's your life, no one can decide for you. You must look into yourself, know what are your needs and decide what to go after in your life.
What are your goals right now? What are you trying to accomplish in your life? What do you need from a woman (or women)? Why you need to be in a relationship? What kinds of relationships fit into your goals and needs?
A healthy relationship is the one meets the goals and needs of both people in the relationship.
You must be honest with yourself when you are discovering your standards. Don't overlook what is important to you. Sometime especially nice guys would overlook a woman's flaws because they have no choice or they are too emotionally attached to the woman. They sacrifice their standards even their own identity for making and keeping women happy. That dishonesty will just harm the relationship. See: Love isn't enough
Don't fall for the "people change" and "don't judge me by my past" crap. You will be wasting time, money and energy.
You must develop your standards according to what you want in a relationship and in a woman. Being honest with yourself, and going after what you want. Never and ever settle for scraps, you always deserve the best you want.
About the author
Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.