You feel like you want to get her as your girlfriend, because she's so beautiful, smart, and attractive to you.
You know you're into her completely, you want to get her to like you. So you decide to let her know your feelings, and hope she'll love you back. However, thing is not going this way.
If you really go to confess your feelings to her, chances are, you'll get into the friend zone, or even worse. Doesn't woman want her man to be honest? Doesn't woman like man who is brave enough to confess his love?
No, this is completely wrong. There're many times I heard the dating advice your best friends might give to you is, go to let her know how you thought about her. They might tell you that, if you keep the feelings to yourself, she's never going to know it, so you only make yourself suffer and play one-man-show.
But if you let her know your feelings, at least you'll have 50% of chance to have her.
Doesn't it make sense? However, the fact is counter-intuitive.
The fact is men and women are chasing different things. If you confess your love to her, chances are the relationship will backfire eventually. See also: confession doesn't work. So what men and women are chasing for?
Men are chasing after sex, women are chasing after validation ( from the biological standpoint - reptilian brain's instinct as I mentioned in my book)
If you too fast let her know how you thought about her, let her know that you're completely into her, then you're going to be put into friend zone. This is because women are chasing for validation.
Let's think from your side, when you're completely into this girl, what she did or made to you? Chances are she was doing nothing to you, she was doing nothing special to make you want her, it's your own thought to fall in love with her, and you can't control yourself not to be attracted to her.
Therefore, you decide to let her know your feelings because you want to know show she thought about you. And then, bam, get into friend zone.
This is because when you let her figures you out, you're not mysterious to her anymore. And once she figures you out, the emotion is flat out, you're killing your attraction to her.
If you know she's into you too before you confess your love to her, you may hold yourself back awhile first, or at least don't act needy, insecure and clingy. Never let your emotions control you.
Like just mentioned above, if you confess your love to her, the validation that she eagerly want is already obtained, so she's gonna move on.
This is one of the biggest mistakes that most men make. In my free ebook I've mentioned that women have great sixth sense, you don't have to tell her you love her, because she will sense it easily.
Initially, she might enjoy your confession, who doesn't feel good when a beauty is telling you that she loves you? However, when she hears your confession continually, the excited feeling will be gone. It's similar to the marginal utility, the more she gets the validation from you, the less satisfaction she will get from it. Eventually, she'll not be interested to get validation from you.
Don't give away your power
When you confess your love to her, it's the same as you give away all your power to her. You let her hold the power to decide she wants to be with you or not. This is very unattractive to women.
After you confess your love to her, she's gonna expect the calling from you, the text messaging, the gifts, the flowers, etc etc. In other words, she knows your move.
You lost your mysterious, you're predictable, and she won't feel special or surprised for whatever you do for her. That's why many men get dumped after their confession.
Once she figures you out, she has you, but you never have her. Period.
Like I just mentioned, you don't need to let her know, she'll know automatically because her great sixth sense. Is it mean that she will figure you out and you can't do anything to prevent it?
No. That's why you want to know women are craving for validation from the men they're attracted to. Although she will know your feelings through their bonding instinct, however, she can't know every picture of your thoughts.
You can behave to let her know you like her, but you can't give her everything. Like confession is no brainer a no no.
2 things to do to keep her wanting validation from you (aka: get her to like you)
There're 2 things you can do to keep her wanting validation from you. One has just mentioned, you don't give her everything, give her some clues to figure out herself, the more she thinks about you, the more she's addicted to you.
The second thing you should do is, you break her expectation. Don't say and do things that are easily to be expected, give more imagination span to her, raise her curiosity by not letting her know your real feelings and always give surprise. In other words, always be mysterious.
So, when should you confess your love to her? The ideal is, you don't confess your love until she becomes your girlfriend.
You need to do this in the right order, if the sequence is wrong, you're going to be placed in friend zone. The very first thing to do is you want to attract her.
Many men included me have made such mistakes, they go and date the woman they like, the first and second date go very well, they're enjoying the dates very much. Afterwards, they wish to know how the woman thinks about them, so, they confess to her that they are into her. Then, boom. The response will get is similar to " I like you as a friend.", " I don't feel for you.", " You will find someone better than me."
Result? Friend zone.
If you have already made this mistake, then there's still have chance for you to turn the table. I have same experience.
There're some cases are like this, the guy mistakenly told her that he loves her very much. After that, he didn't ask for the answer, and he stopped calling her, texting her, just stop all form of contacts and communications.
You guess what happened next? The girl missed him very much, she wanted to know what happened to him after that night? Why he never contact her again? Are them still friend? All kind of imagination and thoughts swimming over her brain day and night. She just can't control not to think about him.
After one month later, he contacted her again, obviously, the girl is very excited receiving his call. And accept his another date very quickly.
This is because the girl expected that she will get his call and text after that night. But he didn't do that. This breaks her expectation. So makes her want to get his validation.
By breaking her expectation, the guy easily turned the table.
Therefore, you got to be aware of your intention. Never give her and let her know everything about you, be mysterious. Never try to fit in her expectation, instead, always being unpredictable. Your attractiveness to her will be skyrocketed.
Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.