First date can be the most important date you have with her. You may have read lots of articles regarding this topic, but no, this is not another first date article. I'm tired of seeing generic first date tips like "you have to be confident." In this article, I come up with 20 first date tips that actually useful to anyone.
Instead of putting more effort into planning amazing dates, people get a date unprepared and racked with nerves. Don't be those people.
You should not experience a first date that never leads to a second date anymore. You can plan ahead and remove the unnecessary stress in your first date.
Here are the 20 first date tips to help you have a successful first date.
20 first date tips that work
1. Have a plan
You need a plan. A date without planning is not surprise if it fails. If you at your first date she asks you where to go and you reply her "it's up to you." then you instantly lose ten points. You have to be a leader, lead her throughout the entire date.
Show up with a plan. Show her your willingness to put efforts into your relationship.
2. Be able to upgrade or downgrade your date
After planning a plan, you want to remain flexible with it. Expect the best, but prepare for the worst. You need to be able to react according the situation of date get along. If it is going well, upgrade your date by doing more interesting activities or changing venues. If the date turns boring and uninspiring, downgrade your date by cutting the date off.
It depends on your situation and decision. In other words, be prepared back up plans and alternate plans.
3. Call it a date when you set it up
Many people give ambiguous invitation like "Hey, let's have a coffee sometime.". Don't make this mistake, you should show her your intention so you know it's whether it's officially a date or not. If you want it to be a date then call it a date.
4. Pick the right place
Picking a right place for dating is very important. Many people go for dinner/coffee date because that's what most people do. But such kind of dating normally turns into a boring interview-style conversation. Do something else.
Pick something that creates a sense of fun or adventure. Anything that makes her laugh and generate exciting feelings. Examples: dancing, comedy show
Pick somewhere atmospheric Pick a location that you both feel comfortable in. Somewhere with romantic setting that makes you both expect and behave more romantically. Examples: walk on the beach, jazz lounge
Pick somewhere where it’s easy to create physical contact It's even better if it's mutually beneficial territory that you would both enjoy. Do activities that allow you to move around and have natural touching. Examples: karaoke, hiking, music shows, outdoor festivals
Pick somewhere you feel confident If you are awesome at something, you can think about taking her to experience it. You'll feel comfortable because it's something you are good at. For example, if you are good at playing pool, take her play a few games with her. You can even teach her how to pay like pro.
5. Be intentional about your day before the date
Be aware of the day before the date. You want to do anything that can make you feel good for the date. For examples, get a haircut, put on new clothes, have a power nap, workout in the gym, finish most of the random tasks on your to-do list, listen to music, watch motivational video, watch comedy show, have a first date plan, etc.
Just anything that makes you feel you are being your best self. So you can go to the date confidently and feel like you’ve prepared everything you can.
6. Initiate touch right away
The main difference between your partner and other people is you have physical intimacy with her. If you don't initiate touch in your first date, it feels awkward when you suddenly bring it up afterward.
One of the moves I took before is I hold her hand when cross the road, after that never let my hand go even if there's no road to cross anymore. You can also playfully nudge her while you walk together. Just do something.
7. Make her feel safe
Unlike men women are emotional and they need to feel a sense of safety and security. Therefore, in the first date you should give her enough space to feel safe, don't crowd her too much instead let the chemistry processes naturally.
This is also the reason why you need to have a plan and some backup and alternate plans. When unexpected things happen like a traffic jam, you can react and switch to another plan immediately. So she will feel you are reliable and dependable.
8. Encourage depth in your conversation
You need to be able to handle yourself in the conversation. Make sure you don't be shy away from topics that she brings up that others might not be able to handle like sex, spirituality, your morals, or values, you want to be in the flow of the conversation.
To go deep in your conversation, you need to improve your knowledge in many areas. You can find and read books on topics that you don't know much about, even if you don't like the topics. Just improve your general knowledge so you can handle the conversation and gradually switch to the topic that you know about.
People with shared experience are more comfortable to be together. Experience something together will be easier to strengthen the bond. So, pick your location wisely, plan your date around activities (Tip #1). This will also help the conversation flows.
10. Stop trying to prove yourself
Many people try to convince their partner on the first date that they are good enough. Like bragging how many cars he has, how expensive his house is, how good his academic is, and you name it. They try to win over her by bragging. Stop it. This is one mistake that most men make.
Action speaks louder than words, stop trying to prove yourself.
11. Un-plug completely
Put away your phone. You want to be free from any distraction in order to fully immerse yourself in the date and show you are serious about getting to know her. Most phone calls are not important, even if it is, surely it can wait a couple of hours.
You can turn on the airplane mode of your phone, or make it completely out of sight. The intention is you want to stay away from your phone completely.
12. Make her feel like a woman
Don't forget the fact that she is a woman. Many guys would treat their partner like a male friend and expect she would behave more like men. No way, men and women are different, you must make her feel like a woman.
You should prepare some stories as backup conversational fodder so when the date still doesn't warm up conversationally you have something to say.
Be aware of the things that have happened to you in your life that people find interesting, these can be some good stories.
Remember don't prepare the stories come across as rehearsed and showy. Tell the stories when the conversation becomes boring and uninspiring.
14. Be playful
Women like men who are playful. They feel playful men are interesting, unlike nice guys who always operate in logical mode. Nice guys fail to create chemistry in women. See also: how to be a bad guy
Teasing is so much fun when you know how to do it well. However, be aware that you don't tease on her core personality or values. That will backfire the situation. If you know she so cares about her body shape, never tease on that. Even if she knows you do it playfully, she doesn't feel comfortable with it. Keep it light, it's no different than playing fire.
15. Allow room for silences
You don't need to always be "on" with women. If the conversation isn't going smoothly, just let it be. Stop talking when the conversation is not smooth, you will not fail with women because of silences. But you will fail if you keep rambling about your TV games.
TV games are not sexy for women, there will not occur sexual attraction. Stop talking and allow her to fill in the blanks. Listen more. Allow silences to exist.
16. Embrace the awkwardness
If awkward topics come up naturally then don't ignore it (breakups, deaths, religions, politics, etc.). Like mentioned before, you want to handle yourself in a conversation. Trying to subtly ignore the awkwardness will make it more awkward. Instead, call attention to it like other normal topics.
17. Handling payment
Don't let the bill causes awkwardness. An awkwardness payment process will undo the attraction that you've already developed throughout the date. If you initiated and planned the date, you should be prepared to cover the bill. If she wants to split with you, politely refuse her and say it's your treat.
Women spent a lot on their clothes, makeup, and hair on weekly basis. But you don't. Just pay the bill.
18. Creates a memorable adventure
You want to lead her and create a memorable adventure between you two. One effective way is always changing venues. Different settings and activities will make her feel you both spent more time together than you actually did. She is more likely to remember the time spent with you. For examples, coffee shop>bowling>walk through a night market. (Remember tip #1)
19. Have fun
You want to have fun throughout your date. There's nothing should be serious. Don't worry how does she think about you. Don't worry you may not funny/good/interesting/attractive enough, etc. If you care too much like what typical nice guys do, your attraction will backfire.
Always have fun on your date!
20. Go for a kiss
You should go for a kiss on your first date. However, this is not an iron rule. You should go for a kiss but not must get a kiss. If you don't think it's a right time or right condition, then ignore this tip.
How do you know when to go for a kiss? Use touch as a litmus test. If she is still having fun at least halfway through a date, assume she's ready for a kiss.
You can do it anywhere - while sitting next to her, while standing together, or even while walking. First, stop talking. Look deep into her eyes for a few seconds, then step towards or bring her to you. Move in slowly and kiss her. Don't rush it, take your time.
If she gives a positive response, you can keep kissing her periodically throughout the date and see where things go. If she gives a neutral response, that probably means she needs a little bit more time or feel nervous, normally the second attempt is a success. But if she gives a negative response, stop attempting to kiss her, at least on this date.
Take a deep breath
The first date is important for having a second date. But don't be too hard on yourself, dates are meant to be fun. I hope these 20 first date tips can help you to have an amazing date.
Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.