6 Facts For Dealing With Rejection That Every One Should Know

Everyone must be ever dealing with rejection. It's normal that people around you even your parents have different opinions with you.

Every person has different experiences and views adapted via their growth, that's why even the same event can have hundreds of different perspectives from different people. 

You don't expect that every person around you agrees with your views, opinions, and decisions, you understand you'll face rejections and disagreements from others from time to time.

However, rejection is one of the biggest factors that reduces one's self-confidence tremendously.

When people reject, don't agree, and critic you, you feel your self-worth decrease. You feel you're worthless, you're not greater than others and you're inferior to them.

You feel bad about yourself. In fact, that's not necessarily.

I recall one of my female friends when I wrote this article. She just graduated from her branded university and enter to one big company to be a graduate trainee. She is the top student in her faculty and give people impression that she is an optimist. Therefore, I'm shocked when I heard this news - she committed suicide.

I feel very pity that a bright future girl committed suicide, not to mention that we are best friend. When I stumbled across the photos that we took together on Facebook, all past memories rewinding in my brain like a movie, I grieve very much for her death.

According to the newspaper, she committed suicide because of the stress of the job as a trainee graduate in that company. 

People don't agree her ability at working. As mentioned, she is a top student for years and very confident in herself. She is a bit perfectionism.

Due to the perfectionism she's vulnerable to failure, she felt bad for people's negative comments, criticisms and rejections. Thus, I thought the reason she committed suicide is because of caring too much for other's rejections.

If you're caring too much for rejections that you face, you surely will affect your self-confidence negatively. It's not worth because people who reject you normally know only a bit about you.

They don't really understand your circumstances, your background, your abilities, and your knowledge, they judged you simply based on their shallow views. Therefore, their judgement just doesn't make any sense.

Don't put too many weights on people's opinions since they don't know much about you.

How can you prevent negative judgments, criticisms and rejections from affecting your self-confidence negatively? See also: How to gain self-confidence | 5 ways that really work, especially #1 

Well, if you know how people judge others, I think you will less care about the rejections that you face. There are several ways people judge others, check them out so you'll be immune to negative statements that put on you.

6 things to know to dealing with rejection

#1 People judge others wrongly to fill gaps

Most of the time, people judge you through their intuitions or assumptions when there are lots of gaps existed.

These gaps existed is because they don't have related information or knowledge to form rational explanation about you. Therefore, they'll make reasons themselves to let things be explainable and reasonable. 

For example, let's say you don't sing when you're in karaoke room with your friends, your friends are curious and ought to know why. They might make assumption themselves that you're very bad in singing, dislike singing or you have a sore throat.

However, the reason that you don't sing is simply because you are bothering with something. They make a wrong judgement that you can't sing well even though you sing better than famous singers.

#2 Limiting beliefs

People can judge you through their limiting beliefs. When people's beliefs are different than yours, they will do different judgements comparing to yours.

One's beliefs will influence one's thoughts. In fact, how you see the world is based on your beliefs, if you believe the world is peaceful, then it is peaceful. If you think the world is evil, then it is. 

If their beliefs are not align with you beliefs, they might don't agree with you and reject you.

You feel bad when your beliefs are not supported by them. This will harm your self-confidence especially if they are the people that are very important to you such as your parents, best friends, and spouse.

However, you know that they reject you not because you are wrong, it is just because their beliefs are different.

For instance, there are many people don't believe they can retire young and retire rich. If your money beliefs included 'passive income can be build' and 'financial freedom is possible', you will try your best to build your passive income system. 

In contrast, when people around you have the belief 'you need to work harder to earn more money', then definitely they will judge you negatively and critic you to stop dreaming.

They don't believe passive income can be build, it is just one ideal dream and is impossible comes true. 

Well, most of the time you have to believe in yourself. They don't agree with you just because they have different beliefs with yours. Don't be influenced and stick to your beliefs.

#3 Stereotyping highly affects people's judgments

People always have certain stereotypes defined in their brain. Therefore, people might judge you according to the stereotypes that ingrain in their brain while in fact you're not the exact type that they think.

They'll not suspect themselves as they subconsciously judged you through their experience. They believe they're right.

Therefore, what they said just doesn't matter with the real you, they don't know much about the actual you.

So, what is so big deal about the rejections that they made to you?

You can just simply ignore what they said to you, put zero weights on their rejections. Believe and be confident in yourself.

#4 Past influences

Sometimes, people judge others with their own experience. They think they have been faced what you're facing, so they can judge you correctly.

They think they have the abilities to give you some advice, some useful tips or lessons. However, you should judge what they said to you too. Don't simply take what they said.

They might tell you that you can't do this or do that because they did them before and failed eventually. Therefore, they told you have to listen to them, they know the big picture and whole story.

But the reason they fail can be their faults, they don't really know why they fail, they lack the knowledge to cope with the problems. They reject you with their fail experience and tell you that you'll fail too.

Therefore, I advise you to think carefully before accepting one's opinions, even mines.

#5 Looks

This is similar to the stereotyping. People can judge you simply because of your looks or the feelings that you give to them.

If they have been cheated by others that face with scars and your face has scars too, then they might judge you that perhaps you're a cheater too. 

Do you recognize some movie actor that always play a role as the bad guy in movies? Their face looks fierce and canny, and this makes them can't play a role as a nice guy in movies.

When you look at their face, your first impression is that this is a bad guy. This is how your looks affect other's judgement on you. Therefore, the judgement that judge based on your looks doesn't make sense.

#6 Lack of knowledge

Sometimes the reason people judge you wrongly can be lacking related information and knowledge about the things. This factor is the most popular factor that makes people reject you.

They don't know how the things work and what are the consequences. Therefore, they don't have self-confidence in you, that's why they reject you.

There are a lot of celebrities faced many rejections before they become successful. One of the famous stories is about the founder of KFC took his fried chicken recipe to find investors to invest in his business.

When he was building his fried chicken business he was already 65 years old. He went out to find investors every day and told his idea to every person he met. Before he heard the first yes, he faced up to thousand times of rejection from the people he met.

Did he give up when people reject him? No, he believed in his fried chicken recipe. He knew his fried chicken recipe is the best recipe, people reject him simply because they never try out the recipe, they don't know how good is the recipe, so they don't have confident that his business can survive.

He relied on his solid self-confidence to find investors constantly until he succeeded, his solid self-confidence disallowed others influence him.

Now you know that normally people judge others wrongly due to these 6 factors. Know about them and internalize them in your brain.

Once you know you're correct, then believe in your heart, believe in yourself. Only you know what you are doing, don't be affected by others easily.

About the author

RIO YEE

Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.

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