Don't Go For A Date Before You Read These 40 Dating Rules
Is there any rule for dating?
Yes, there is.
If you know what you should do in dating, you can strengthen the bond and get a closer relationship with her.
But don't get me wrong, dating rules aren’t set in stone. I don't mean there have certain steps you can simply copy and get the result.
However, after many dating experiences, there are a few incidents that all of us come across in a date.
If you knew exactly what is going to happen, you could plan out everything in advance. I wrote an article about 20 first date tips before, you should read it too. Some tips over there will be covered in this article. If you want to maximize your dating experience, read both of them.
Don't go for a date without knowing what to do. It's kind of like playing the lottery.
These 40 dating rules get you romantic and successful dates
Before the date
1. Plan the date
You should have a plan. You should know on that day where two of you will go, when to go, what to do, what to eat, when to back, and the list goes on. If you don't have a plan, you can't expect how the date will be going. Prevention is better than cure, have a plan so your date is in control.
2. Take charge
You should take charge of everything. Women are indecisive, they hope you can plan out everything for them. So you want to be a leader in a relationship, don't ask her opinion, you make decisions yourself and just lead her through.
3. Logistics Management
Logistics management is very critical to your dating experience. If you have planned switching venues through the date, you will need transport. It is the best if you have a car, so you can change venues flexibly and choose yourself the time to leave.
You should also fetch her so you both come together to the place. Don't accept the suggestion that you two come by alone and meet at the venue. Prepare the transport throughout the date, from beginning to the end.
4. Don't ask her out by text message.
Never and ever think to ask her out by text message. Always ask her out by face-to-face. If the situation is not allowed, then call her and talk to her. Text messaging is the last idea you want to consider because that would put you at the risk of being rejected. Not to mention that face-to-face makes more sense as it's an official date.
On the date
5. Cleanliness and your breath
Take care of your cleanliness and your breath on the date. For examples, cut off your long nails, have a sharp haircut, whiten your teeth, shave your mustache, and so on. Take a longer bath to make sure you clean every part of your body and hair. Buy some breath freshening product like sweets to make sure you always have good breath.
6. Dress well.
On the date, you should dress well, obviously.
According to the date you've planned you should know what suits you should wear on that day. However, no matter what you've planned you should never show up in board shorts and flip-flops, especially the first date. Your looks are critical to your attractiveness, it's one of the aspects for success with women.
7. Bring enough money
I don't need to remind you that you should bring enough money to go for dating, isn't it?
You should also bring extra money in case there's unexpected cost you need to spend. So you would look steady and calm even if things are not going like what you've expected. It's also for safety purpose.
8. show up 5 minutes early
Be punctual. You should go out half an hour earlier to avoid being late. Sometimes unexpected situation happen and make you late. For example, car accident or traffic jam can make you stuck on the road for an hour above even if the journey is only 15 minutes. It's ideal you show up 5 minutes earlier than the time has promised.
9. Open the door, pull out their chair
Help her open the door when entering restaurant, and pull out her chair for her when sitting. This shows to her that chivalry is not completely dead. But don't do this overly, otherwise you will be some sort of nice guys who always treat her nicely for the sake of keeping her happy. Nice guys always finish last. See being nice doesn't work.
10. Being really interested in her
On the date, you both will have conversations and one of the ways to make sure you won't run out of conversation idea is being really interested in her. Before going to the date, you can think some of the questions that you can ask her. Some questions that show you are interested in her, perhaps questions about her new job, new life in college, etc.
You can do some research on her before going to date so you have some really insightful questions that matter to her. Don't focus on yourself, some guys keep talking about themselves and this makes the conversation boring.
11. Avoid “job interview” questions
Although I said you want to be really interested in her so you prepare some questions to ask on the date but you want to avoid all kind of "job interview" question. Even if the question is too general you shouldn't ask in a "job interview" way.
You can come up with a story and link it to the question you want to ask. Or you talk about the topic that can reveal the answer that you want to know. For example, you want to know what's her favorite food you can chat about food with her. Chances are she will reveal to you what she likes to eat.
Do your best to keep the question ratio at least 1:1. Ask only questions that actually enable you to get to know one another.
12. Avoid saying too much unless it’s a quick DHV
You shouldn't say too much because being mysterious is attractive to women. You want to be in the flow of conversation but don't talk too much.
If you have done something awesome that makes you feel proud of yourself then you should tell this to her. However, you want to make sure it fits into the conversation so it wouldn't look like you are trying to brag yourself. This is one of the mistakes that most men make.
13. Let her do most of the talking.
You should shut up. You want to be in the flow of conversation. But you want to let her do most of the talking too.
This can be a dilemma if you can't clearly understand when should you talk and when should you shut up. Normally, unless answering questions or telling DHV stories, other time you should let her do most of the talking. That's why being interested in her and preparing questions are very important. She will keep on talking if you ask questions that matter to her.
14. Avoid directly answering questions
There's a technique of answering questions. To avoid making the conversation like she's interviewing you, you shouldn't directly and simply answer the questions.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you should avoid questions or you should bring up another topic. You have to answer the question immediately, like a man, but in indirect way. Telling stories is one good way to answer questions. And don't give too much away, indirect also means you don't tell her everything. Otherwise, you'll backfire your mysterious.
15. Never get personal or persistent
I want to remind you, you are on a date. You should never get personal in the conversation like complaining about your job or telling her your sad stories.
If you carelessly touch on those topics, stop it immediately. Just don't get personal or persistent, unless your date is comfortable with that conversation.
16. Never compliment her appearance. Even if she asks
Beautiful women always get compliments. They are used to it because they get compliments daily from different guys every day. For them, compliments are boring that's why you should never compliment her, especially her appearance.
I'm not saying women don't like compliments because they do. But only if you are attractive to her. Therefore, you want to make sure the sexual attraction has come in the first place. Even if you want to compliment her you should compliment indirectly. Women want a challenge from men. See: how to compliment a woman the right way
17. Never lie.
This one is obvious. You should never lie in every relationship. If you want to tell stories or something about you, please tell the genuine one. In case, if she asks you about the things that you have told her, you know what you have said. Say the true thing can avoid you being confused.
Be sincere and truthful.
18. No marriage talk
You shouldn't talk about marriage in the first few dates. Don't rush for marriage talk. In my previous article, I've explained that people only want to talk about marriage if they think you are a qualified long-term partner and the relationship is stable. That's when the relationship is in the commitment stage. See 5 stages of relationship
19. Never discuss any of your past relationships or sexual experiences
Don't discuss all these at all. No women want to hear about your past relationships or sexual experiences especially those who have feelings for you. Once you let them know your past, you lost your mysterious in order that you lost your attraction. If they keep asking you, just answer them indirectly like rule 14.
20. Have two interesting, funny, DHV-filled stories from your life
Prepare some DHV-filled stories to fill the silence room. In article 20 first date tips I said you should allow room for silence because that's normal, just let her do most of the talking like rule 13. But you should have at least two interesting and funny stories from your life to tell.
Some people are not conversational. Have some stories in preparation can avoid the awkward silence in case that she is not conversational so you have something to say. That's one of the reasons that you should go out of your room and explore more of the world. Topics always come from your experience in your life. Remember, be sincere and truthful, you should never lie and tell fake stories.
21. Teasing and sarcasm are perfectly okay.
Teasing and sarcasm are powerful if you know how to use them wisely. When cocky and funny mixes together will trigger chemistry in women so they get attracted to you. I've explained why women love bad guys and why humor is so powerful in previous articles. That's a mixture of sexual attraction and emotional attraction, that's why women can't resist with guys who are sexy and funny.
Listen is very important in communication. When she is talking, you should just shut up and listen. If she is complaining or telling you a problem, then listen to her problem carefully. At the same time, you put yourself into her shoes to understand her emotional needs and respond to her relatively. If she is sharing a happy moment with you, actually feel her happiness and share related happy stories from your life. This will strengthen the bond between you two very fast.
23. Keep your cell phone face-down
You want to show her you very enjoy the date. Don't keep taking up your phone and scroll here and there. Nowadays many people are addicted to social media like Facebook, they can't stand not to see their Facebook for one day. I am not saying you should quit Facebook, but you should at least not to see Facebook throughout the date, instead focus on the interaction.
24. Make sure she laughs
You have to make sure she laughs, even lightly, at least once every few minutes. When she laughs that means she feels relaxed of the date. Keep making her laugh throughout the date will make her feel relaxed when being with you.
You should show your sense of humor, remember that humor is powerful in making women get attracted to you.
25. Be positive
Most of the successful people are positive people. Everyone likes to be with positive people because they send out positive "vibe" or "frequency". No one likes negative people. Therefore, you have to be positive and never say something negatively. Don't complaint anything in front of her, you can let her know you are not satisfying with something but you want to make sure you are not complaining in front of her.
Say everything in positive way, use positive words and with a positive attitude.
26. Act confident.
You want to act confident. Showing confident is not about acting you are confident. You have to actually feel confident about yourself from your within. Solid self-confidence is not born, it's a learned trait. If you know how self-confidence works you will know how tobuild self-confidence that last long.
How could you show your confidence through merely a few dates? It's all about how you portray yourself. Act confident, interested, engaged, self-assured, ambitious, and happy. These are the traits that women want in a man. Seehow to use self-confidence to attract women
27. Show your best side
This one is obvious. Impression is something very impactful. If you show her once you are bad at something, she probably will think you are sucks with that thing. Always show your best side, everything, from your looks (rule 6) to your words and behaviors.
28. Being non-needy
Don't too rush for everything. Let things go and flow slowly. I have explained that many guys backfire their relationship because they go too fast with their progress. Women still haven't very into them they already attempt to proceed to next level. You want to make progress fast, but you should also do it naturally.
Typically nice guys are needy, the insecurities inside them always drive them to do the wrong thing like confess your love at the wrong time. One of the mindset you should internalize to avoid being needy is, you want women, but you don't need women. You don't need them to feel good about yourself. You don't need them to feel happy.
For women non-neediness is a challenge to them, they will do their best trying to catch your attention. Women secretly crave for challenges from men. Be non-needy and give her the challenge.
29. Be flexible
You should be flexible throughout the date. In case thing is not going like what you've expected, you have alternative ways. That's why rule 1 is so important, you should have a plan, and a plan B. However, sometimes even plan B is useless. At this time you should act flexibly, nothing is rigid throughout the date. For an example, suddenly she feels sick and wants to back home immediately. You will never be able to expect such kind of thing earlier.
One of the reasons that Rule 3: logistics management is important is because if you have transportation you can flexibly change venues. If she feels sick you can fetch her back home at any time. The moral here is, you should be flexible throughout the date.
30. Smile. Never try to act “cool”. Act relaxed instead.
Smile always. Many guys think that acting cool can increase their mysterious so women will be attracted to them, but in a dating context it's not a truth. I've mentioned in rule 13 you want to let her do most of the talking. If you act cool throughout the date you will become very weird. Consequently, she can't feel relaxed around you, so it's difficult for you to make her laugh (rule 24).
When you smile she will feel you are relaxed, so she will be relaxed too. Therefore, instead of acting cool you should be acting relaxed. Don't over-analyze her thoughts, behaviors, or anything else. Just relax and be yourself. Be confident, positive, non-needy and show your best side.
31. Maintain good eye contact.
Eye contact is very important in dating. As the saying said:" Eyes are the window to your soul.". Your eyes convey a wide range of your emotions and feelings. When you are avoiding eye contact or looking away/down/anywhere, you could be seen as weak, afraid, or uncertain.
If you maintain good eye contact, you will be seen as influential, powerful, dominant and confident. Use good eye contact can change how you feel about yourself and how people see you. Basically, the good eye contact includes not being afraid to make eye contact and hold it, and being able to look people in the eyes when you are talking and listening to them.
32. Relax and lean back. Keep your hands where we can see them.
Body language is significant in dating and relationship. I can't stress enough about it. Your behaviors and actions reveal a lot about yourself to other people. If you have good body language, you convey confidence and show you are an alpha male. Body language is a large topic, eye contact is included in it, beside it's included how you stand, how you walk, how you sit, facial expressions, posture, head positioning and so on.
In dating context, I would suggest you always relax and lean back. Lean forward makes you look small, insecure and beta. And always keep your hands on places where we can see them. Don't fold your arms around your chest, it makes you look insecure and beta too. You can keep your hands by your side, this makes you wide open and conveys openness.
33. Touch her sensually
You want to touch her often. However, you want to do it in the right way, don't rush for it. Firstly you want to establish attraction, that's what rule 5 and rule 6 do for you, take care of your cleanliness, breath and looks. You want to take care of your body language too, the eye contact, openness of your body. Then you want to establish comfort, smile more (rule 30) and have a relaxing conversation.
After establishing attraction and comfort, I would start touching her hands and arms. If it's at a restaurant I would sit beside her instead of the opposite of her, that would be easier to the process. I also like to playfully nudge her side body, normally she would playfully nudge you back. This increases more the attraction and connection. In my previous article 20 first date tipsI said you should go for a kiss. But it's not an iron rule. If you think it's not enough attraction and connection to do so, don't take any risk to do it.
34. Be sexual. Don't avoid dirty jokes.
It's ok to be sexual. You are a man, it's ok to be a man. Nowadays many guys especially nice guys have been taught don't be too bold, don't be too brave, don't draw attention to yourself in public. They avoid any unnecessary risk and like to play small and safe. According to research, women like sextoo and even more than you. Don't afraid to come up with sexual topic and make sure you can handle the conversation if she brings up the topic.
In fact, dirty jokes can be a funniest element to play with humor. If you can do it well, your attractiveness will skyrocket.
35. Don't flirt with the waitress
I always make this mistake for years ago. I flirt with the waitress when she takes orders with me, the reason is simply because I'm used to taking every chance to flirt with women. Now I'm already in control and know when you can do and when you cannot do. In dating, just don't flirt with the waitress, focus on the interaction with her.
36. Don't get drunk
Don't get drunk. You should avoid alcohol throughout the date because if you get drunk you may lost control of yourself. You could make mistakes like yell in front of her, say something stupid, or even do some extreme actions. Furthermore, if you provide the transportation, you are responsible to fetch her back. Avoid getting drunk to ensure her safety and security, it's your responsible.
37. Never give a shit about how a date will end up
When you focus on how a date will end up, you can't enjoy the date. If you can't enjoy the date, she can't too. In other words, the thing you should concern about is the process instead of the result.
End of the date
38. Never walk out or stand a date up
You should never walk out or stand a date up. Quit the date at the midway is very impolite and give her bad impression. That's why you need a plan (rule 1). Always plan everything in advance so you know what will happen. It's also one of the reasons you should keep your phone face-down (rule 23), so you won't get disturbance and distraction. It's even better if you on airplane mode.
However, you have to be spontaneous, be flexible to the condition.
39. Pay the bill
Still remember the rule 7? Bring enough money. It's your plan where to go and where to eat. You should pay the shit bill in any way. If you have concerned how much women have spent on themselves to buy nice clothes, get a good hairstyle and makeup, you'll know it's fair to pay the bill.
40. Say goodnight.
After going through the whole plan of your date, don't meander off into the night. Do something. Anything. A hug. A kiss. Don't just leave without doing anything that makes her keep thinking about you. Do it right, and you might get a next few dates.
Finally, we finish all 40 dating rules. As you can see, all rules here are actually interconnected, they are linked to each other, so you should pay attention to all rules. If you fail to commit to one rule you may fail to commit to others too.
Yes, there are exceptions to every rule. Some of the rules may work in my situation but not in yours. Some of the rules need some changes to suit your condition. Anyway, most of the rules work well for me. Follow all dating rules here and make some changes according to your condition. I wish you success in your dating life.
About the author
Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.