How to Overcome The Breakup Depression That Constantly Bother You
Are you feeling depressed constantly due to a horror breakup?
I have gone through such kind of situation before. I kept feeling bad for a long time and I did't know what to do to overcome the breakup depression as it was bothering me in many aspects of my life.
I know your feeling, the fact of breakup always show up in your mind, you just can't control yourself not to think about it. And you feel helpless because it seems like you have no way to solve your problems.
For instance, you keep feeling bad because you can't get over her. Everyday when you wake up, the first thing you'll think is her; every night before sleep the last thing you'll think is her too. She always occupies your mind, and this haunts you all the time.
I have to admit that when you lost someone you loved the most you will feel bad is very normal, otherwise you might not really loved her. However, keep feeling depressed after a break up will not help you to get your ex back. And it affects every corner of your life.
If you want to turn over the table and stop feeling depressed then you have to take action to overcome the breakup depression and move on with your life. You want to drop the previous version of you and evolve to be a new you.
When I breakup with my ex, I felt terribly bad about everything I did. I hoped it was just a dream. And I felt more depressed because she seems have already moved on and dated with other guys.
Although I've learned how to deal with depression before, but I failed to deal with breakup depression. When something happened to you unexpectedly, you tend to forget what action you should take and were dominated by your emotions. Don't get defeated by your bad emotions, it's immature and wussy.
I revise and write down how I overcame the breakup depression in this article. If you are facing breakup depression, read on.
How to overcome the breakup depression
Refusal to face reality
One of the biggest reasons that you feel depressed when get dumped by your girlfriend is because you refuse to face the reality that the relationship is already over. No matter what you want in your relationship, you need to face the reality first.
Understand that you and her breakup, she's not your girlfriend anymore. If you don't accept this fact, you'll continually get into depression mode for a long long time. You'll not allow yourself to overcome it, instead keep feeling depressed for weeks, months and even years.
Understand what's in control and what's not
You feel depressed for the breakup is because the situation is not the same as you've expected. When you find thing is not going the way as you've expected you certainly will feel bad because you're attempting to control thing which is uncontrollable.
In my free ebook I have explained that every person has his/her own personal boundary and you'd never be able to invade others' boundary. Her decision is in her personal boundary, you can't control it. You can't try to control her because she's a human being, not your thing.
Past is past, future is future
Past and future are outside of our boundary as I mentioned in my free book. Things that had happened will not be able to change anymore, so don't bother about it. If you're trying to control what's uncontrollable, you'll be suffering.
Accept the fact that the relationship is over like mentioned in point one. Stop living in your past, otherwise you'll be holding yourself back to move on and improve yourself. And you shouldn't bother with the future too because you can't control neither as it never come yet.
Presence of hope
In my previous article overcoming depression I've said that hope and depression can't coexist. However, when comes to the breakup case you can't use hope to cope with the depression, because like just mentioned you shouldn't bother with future because it's not controllable.
So don't secretly think that you still have chance to get your ex back in the future. If you always hope to get her back then you certainly will never be able to get over her.
If you want to get your ex back, better you don't hope to get her back. I know it's counterintuitive, I'll cover that in the following. Read on.
The one myth
One of the most popular reasons people get trapped in the breakup depression is because they have false beliefs about love. You may adapted these false beliefs too because our society and social media programmed us to believe that your girlfriend is "the one".
But the fact is she's just one girl who's able to trigger the attraction so you love her. Attraction isn't a choice. If she's not attracted to you, then you're not sexy for her. Period. Understand the fact she's not the only person who can trigger the attraction will help you to get over the one myth.
What only you can control is yourself
So from top to bottom, you can conclude that to deal with the breakup depression you need to accept the breakup fact, don't try to control her decision in anyway such as persuasion, don't live in the past, don't think you'll get her back in the future and don't think she's the one.
Therefore, actually you have nothing to do to change what was happened. The only thing that you can control is yourself. You are in bad mood is not because what she did to you, it's because you allow yourself to get in the bad mood.
Write a plan
It's not enough to get over her by merely knowing the fact above. I would suggest you to take out a piece of paper to write down a plan you want to do.
If you still want to get your ex back, then write it down in your plan, this is not contradicted with the point 'you shouldn't hope to get her back' above.
You write down the plan you want to get your ex back with the perspective that you want to evolve yourself. You want to amaze her that you have changed a lot and make her get attracted to you again. But don't hope you definitely will get her back, it's uncontrollable.
If you want to move on with your life, then write it in your plan too. For instance, make a plan that you want to improve your lifestyle, you want to get in shape, you want to learn how to attract women, you want to build an online business, you want to increase your monthly income.
The point is you can't stand at where you're currently standing now. You need to be different. Let her be your motivation source, you want to improve because you love her. If you don't love yourself first, you can't love others. So treat yourself better, always step out of your comfort zone.
Chase for your life purpose, chase for your goals. It's not you choose women, but women choose you. A strong man knows that who he is, what he wants, and he knows he wants women, but not needs women.
Rio Yee is the Founder of WealthyLoveLife and is super passionate about helping people change their mind and take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships, personal finance and productivity.