I've been very depressed that I need to find ways to break through depression.
That time was the time I broke up with my ex-girlfriend.
I knew the breakup shouldn't happen, but I had no idea what to do to turn over the table.
So I stuck in the past for a long time, around two years.
Within that two years, I felt depressed daily and found no way to come out from that.
I just can't accept that it happened.
I wished I had the superpower to rewind the relationship.
The vicious cycle of depression became my daily routine for that depressed period.
Every morning the first thing I thought about was my ex, and the last thing I thought about before sleeping also was my ex.
You probably are experiencing what I was experienced. Or your situation probably is different than mine.
But we have one common thing, that is we get stuck in the past and feel depressed daily.
We just can't control ourselves to break through the depression.
Luckily I finally found the way to end this vicious cycle.
And I DID IT.
You see my friends. It's not the end of the world.
If I can do it, you can too.
Let me show you how.
The biggest lesson I have learned from my worst two years is one golden attitude.
This is the attitude that helped me break through the depression.
'Accept the way it is.'
There's nothing a big deal actually.
Nothing is ever worse than giving up yourself to move forward and allowing yourself to immerse in the negative emotions.
What you need to do is accept everything that happened.
Things only change when we accept the way it is. That's the moment Magic happens.
I know it sounds simple, but it's never easy.
Because our mind is wired to be wanting to win. We don't feel reconciled to the failure.
But we need to break through depression. Otherwise, we can stuck in the past for as long as you can.
Do you want to waste your life?
For my case, it's hard for me to accept the fact that my ex-girlfriend is gone.
You know that, lost someone you loved the most. No one will like the feelings.
But how I did it? And how can you do it for yourself?
You need to know that there are many things in life are not controllable.
When you are trying to control the things that are uncontrollable, you feel suffered.
When I tried so hard to get my ex back but failed in the end, I feel depressed so much.
You may are the same. Give in many efforts on something but don't get the result that you've expected or deserved.
But when comes to that situation, you may need to reconsider your situation.
Is it really something you can control?
For my case, my ex is not a robot, she has feelings, emotions, and thoughts. I can't control her to back to me in any way.
So I accepted that it's uncontrollable and gave up to control her.
That's when the magic kicked in. I felt released when I accept it's uncontrollable and say "No" to it.
Will I regret?
Because I've tried before I gave up. And after studying how the love works I knew that what I did is actually pushing her away.
That's not a thing that I can control. What I can control is only myself.
So I consciously improve myself in many life areas. And I evolved to be a better person.
And then I met my current girlfriend. My life now is in the best shape ever.
Many people blame for things around them. And most of them blame for something that is uncontrollable.
Some people blame the weather, some people blame their parents, some people blame the economic.
But they never blame themselves.
They don't think they have responsibility for their failure.
It's always other people's fault. They never wrong. They are so unlucky that meet people who cause them to fail.
What an immature thought.
I never thought that my ex is wrong. She has the choice to break up with me. And I don't have the right to control her decision.
Instead, I accepted the fact that I was a bad quality person. I'm the one who caused the relationship ended.
You have responsibility for everything happened to you. I believe in this deeply.
When I recall what I did to my ex, no wonder she wanted to break up with me.
I was a nice guy. And women don't like nice guys.
I was never cared my appearance. Pimples were on my face everywhere.
I was so jealous when she talked to guys.
I lost my own life. My life became her life. My world had nothing except her.
You see my friends. I was just not a good boyfriend material.
There's no one and nothing to blame. If it has to be then that only be me.
If you fail your academic, if you fail your business, if you fail your relationships, if you fail your bodybuilding.
The only one can blame is, YOU.
So you know that there are things are uncontrollable. And you can't blame anyone and anything. You have the responsibility for anything that happened.
This is how the world works. Just accept it.
I had one friend who committed suicide because of the perfectionism. Because she wanted to do everything perfectly, in the end she decided to end her life because she realized that what she wanted to be perfect is not controllable.
You must also know that everything in life actually has an order.
Buddha formerly was a prince, he feel suffered for four issues so he gave up to be a prince and explored the world to find the answers of the issues.
These four issues are birth, aging, sickness, and death.
After many years of exploring the world, he found the answer.
The answer doesn't help him to solve the issues. But helped him feel peaceful and became the Buddha we have known today.
The answer is, everyone will go through birth, aging, sickness and death.
They are inevitable. No one will ever escape from facing these four issues.
They are just the things we can't control, we will face them in any way. If you try to escape from them like what Buddha did, you will suffer.
It's the same as four seasons.
Spring comes, then followed by summer, which is followed by autumn and then winter. After winter comes another spring, and the cycle repeats and repeats endlessly.
You can't control winter to come first, then followed by autumn. We can't control it, they are set in order.
Like the four issues Buddha had concerned, everyone goes through them in order - birth, aging, sickness, and death.
The four seasons - spring, summer, autumn, and winter.
For the life - failure, failure, failure... and success.
In my previous article about depression I said hope and depression won't exist together.
So after you accept they way it is, you want to find the hope to your problem.
I have a unique winning mindset that can help you to find hope. Even if you haven't found it, by this winning mindset you will feel hope. So you won't feel depressed and believe that problems will solve in the end.
The mindset is, you are a lucky person.
You are so lucky so you believe you will find the solution in the end - The life cycle - failure, failure, failure... and success.
Even if you don't find the solution, you will know that is because the problem is uncontrollable.
You are so lucky because you don't have to waste time on things that can't change.
However, before considering a thing is uncontrollable, you need to know whether you are doing the thing in the right way or not.
If you are doing things in the wrong way, failure is inevitable.
But remember the cycle? Failure, failure, failure...success.
You still have hope. Find the way until it works. Don't simply consider it's not doable.
My website is simply about teaching people do things in the correct ways.
You want to change yourself like what I did after broke up with my ex-girlfriend.
Once you started take action, you break through the depression because you can see the hope. Simple as that.
It's really challenging to try explaining the concept about 'accept the way it is' and what to do after understanding it.
At the end of this article, let me try to condense and explain in an easy way to you.
Accept the way it is no matter what happened, never blame other people, and do the work you should do in the correct way. You will see the hope so your depression will end.
And accept the fact that thing is uncontrollable if you have tried to do the thing in the correct way but still fail eventually, next big thing will come. You don't need to worry because that's how the world works, next thing must come because that's the order. Just let go of the past and wait it comes.